FIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

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FIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

5 RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

FIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

By Bisi Adewale

FIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

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Marriage is a relationship and it takes the both individuals in it to make it work.  If a blissful and romantic goal is your dream each party in marriage must take note and work on the following relationship types because they play a great role in the success of their family.FIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

 

  1. RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

If thou wert pure and upright; surely now he would awake for thee, and make the habitation of thy righteousness prosperous. Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase. Job 8:6-7. You must build a solid relationship with God for your marriage to work. If you cannot relate with God on a daily basis, you cannot relate well with your spouse. God is the inventor of marriage; he has the master plan on how to make it work. He has the connecting rod that links you with your spouse. So, if you cannot connect with God, you may never connect with your spouse. To build a relationship with God in your marriage, do these:

  • Love God. If you don’t love God, you may never know how to love your spouse. Your love for your spouse is a reflection of your love for God. If you love God, you will live to please him by abstaining from all unrighteousness like: lying, adultery, malice, unforgiving tendencies, vengeance, selfishness and so on. Loving God will make you study the Bible, pray and live in peace with your spouse.
  • Serve God. This is not negotiable. Serve God personally and together as a couple. Spend time and resources doing this. Serving God wholeheartedly will make him to be committed to your marriage. Don’t be too busy to serve God.
  • Be intimate with God. Intimacy with God requires consistency in prayer, Bible study and worship. This should be a daily affair. And it requires sound discipline and dedication, the same factors needed to build intimacy with your spouse.
  • Let there be a dedicated altar. The family altar is a place where you can alter the plan of the devil concerning your home. Activities there should not be too long; it is not a place for a long sermon. Through it, you can teach your children how to pray and study the word of God. Encourage every member of your family to be part of it. Consistency is the rule in having a successful family altar.
  • Give time to praise God in your house. God must be regularly praised in your home. Thank him for everything in your family. Thank him for your health, house rents, pregnancy and delivery, children’s school fees, food, transport and so on. Nothing should be too small to thank the Lord for. If you want God to step into your marriage, you must close the book of lamentation and wear the garment of praise.
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  1. RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

Your relationship with yourself demands that you strongly and positively develop the following aspects of yourself:

  1. Character. Your character plays a great role not only in your relationship with your spouse but also in other relationships you may have with people outside your home. Character marks your personality and it is something that can only be consciously developed. Be homely, caring, teachable, persevering, friendly, forgiving, fashionable, hardworking and self-controlling.  Besides, you must develop positive communication skills; embrace the willingness to express appreciation generously, strive for sexual fidelity, and be hospitable among others. Run as from terror from adultery, laziness, violence, malice, moodiness, prayerlessness, oversleeping, greediness, perfectionist tendency, anger, night crawling and so on. Character is marriage, marriage is character.
  2. Thinking. Work on your thoughts towards your spouse. They must be positive at all times. For instance, think of what to do to make your spouse happy every day. That excludes negative thoughts because what you think determines your actions.
  3. Build your belief only on what the Bible says about marriage and not what people or traditional says.
  4. You need a sound health to build a sound marriage. Never neglect your health. Care for your body; don’t wait for sickness to strike before you attend to your body. Eat right, avoid junks; eat fruits. Exercise your body very well and rest.
  5. Self-esteem. Believe what God can do through you. Believe in yourself and your spouse. Never look down on yourself or spouse.

 

  1. RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds (Prov. 27:23).

Your environment can have adverse effects on your marriage if not properly managed. Your environment involves:

  • Your job, career and ministry. Be the best you can in your career and ministry, but don’t surrender your marriage to them. Learn how to strike a balance among them. The home front is the real front of your ministry; don’t run it at the expense of your marriage. Be dedicated to your career but don’t place it above your marriage. Career will end, only the family will remain.
  • Electronics like computers, the television, phones. They are there to help you build a better marriage, not to destroy it. Good as they are they must not overshadow the time you spend with your family members. Don’t get addicted to the computer or phones to the detriment of your marriage. Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves (Song 7:11-12).
  • Newspaper and magazines. Read them to get informed but don’t allow them to deform your marriage. Don’t let it take your attention from your spouse.
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  1. RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Prov. 27:17).

Depending on how you relate with them, there are some set of people whose relationship with you can either make or break your relationship with your spouse. They are:

  • Your family. Handle your extended family members with love and care, but don’t love them more than your spouse. Don’t permit them to rule your marriage; don’t surrender your family to them.
  • Your in-laws. Love your in-laws too and demonstrate it to them. You need a lot of wisdom to handle them even when you feel they don’t love you. Pray for divine wisdom to relate with them.
  • Your children. Love your children; teach, admonish, train, correct and pray for them. Children want attention but you must not allow this to come between you and your spouse, even in sleeping arrangement.
  • Ensure none of your friends is closer to you than your spouse. Avoid friends who always investigate your activities to report you to your spouse, twisting the truth.
  • Love your neighbours; pray for them but be very careful to choose who you are going to get closer to among them.
  • House helps. Don’t get a house help if you don’t really need one. Don’t get a matured one because the problem they cause most often is more than the help they render.
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  1. RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE

Whoso ever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

The poor useth intreaties; but the rich answereth roughly. A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother (Prov. 18:22-24). Your relationship with your spouse must be rock solid. For it to be solid, it must possess the following vital ingredients:

  1. You can never be happily married when you don’t accept your spouse. Acceptance starts from the mind, so make up your mind to accept your spouse’s stature, complexion, height, hair and so on. Your spouse can never be like anybody else; accept him.
  2. Verbalize your love by saying, “I love you” to your spouse. Demonstrate love in all your dealings with him.
  3. Care is the language of love. Show it to your spouse in all areas of life.
  4. Your spouse will always offend you no matter how spiritual he may be. Pray for a forgiving spirit; be a generous forgiver regardless of the offence.
  5. Communication is the life blood of relationship. Be in talking terms. You need to talk the talk before you can walk the walk. Your communication should be truthful, total without cutting remarks.
  6. Praying together. Take time to pray together. A couple that prays together stays together and they get divine presence to cement their relationship. Create time to pray together as a couple.
  7. Be patient with each other. You will need a lot of patience to live with an opposite sex. Don’t be in haste to see your partner change. Be patient with him.
  8. Marriage should be romantic and enjoyable. Do everything possible to fan the fire of romance in your marriage.FIFIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK By Bisi Adewale FIVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK Marriage is a relationship and it takes the both indivVE RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK

Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog:  www.bisiadewale.com, Website:www.familybooster.com facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter@bisiadewale

5 RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE MARRIAGE WORK