Sympathy: Wrong marital step to choose a Partner

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Sympathy: Wrong marital step to choose a Partner

Bisi Adewale

“If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (Ps. 11:3)
Never marry out of sympathy. If you do, people will later sympathise with you. If you must marry a brother or sister, sympathy should not influence your decision.
A brother decided to marry a sister because he discovered she needed somebody by her side at thirty-five. So, he was ready to marry her “to comfort her”, since all her peers are married”. This is a good example of sympathy-induced marriage.
Some years back, a friend of mine got involved with a lady because she lost her mum. He thought the best thing he could do for her was to be close to her during her trying period. However, the closeness turned to a relationship, without any thought for God. It was only God that delivered the brother from the problems that later emanated from the relationship.
Do not think you are helping anybody by marrying them. Marry out of love, never out of sympathy. Sympathy will soon end, leaving only reality. Stop writing letters to generate sympathy for yourself. Never marry on the basis of sympathy.
After three years of courtship, a lady said she discovered the brother she assumed was a born again Christian is a fornicator and drunkard. But she did not want to leave him because they met when she lost her elder brother. The brother really stood by her during her trying period. So, she did not want to hurt him, even when it was glaring that the brother was not born again.
Please, my dear brothers and sisters, do not sympathise with anybody to the point of trading away your life, your peace, joy and even your destiny. Marry a born again Christian according to the will of God.
Be in love. Never marry for sympathy.

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Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success, He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 52 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster Moments.

Get daily lesson and teaching and articles from his blog: and You can also get his resources and also send an mail to for any counselling issue. Visit for daily updating!