Building Healthy Marriage
Building Healthy Marriage
– Bisi Adewale
1. Accept Each Other. To accept your spouse means to decide that he or she has the necessary skill, intelligence, ability and outlook for you or that what he or she has to offer is good enough. Acceptance is a choice and decision to be made, it is important for you to know that people don’t change much after wedding and that you cannot change your spouse. You can however choose to be happy in your marriage when you learn to accept what you have that you can’t change. I think all married couples should be praying the prayer of St. Francis Xavier “God grant me the courage to change the things I can change; the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the differences”.
To accept means
A- Accommodate your spouse differences and weakness and know that you have weaknesses that he or she accommodates too.
C- Concentrate on his or her good points. Locating the good sides of your spouse and celebrate them.
C- Commend him or her for what he or she is. Giving appreciation for good deeds
E- Embrace his or her uniqueness. Accepting the peculiarity
P-Patronise him or her, make use of what he or she has. Optimizing his or her ability
T- Thank God for the person given to you to marry. Thanking God for the gift of His son or daughter He gave to you.
You need to realized that your spouse is totally different from you; hence, you must accept his or her uniqueness. You have the following differences –Gender differences, personality differences, background differences, parental differences, Academics differences, temperamental differences, denominational, career differences, associational differences, environmental differences.
All these are combined to make your spouse who he/she is; you can’t change him or her over night. The master key is ACCEPTANCE. Remember, the only person you can change is yourself.
2. Value Your Wife Or Husband. To value your spouse is to see him or her as somebody very important and useful. Somebody you love, respect and honour.
Destroy ‘VALUELESS MENTALITY’. If you value your spouse you will not abuse him or her, you will not beat her, you will not abandon her, you will not cheat on her, and you will not deny him sex. Show your spouse that you value him or her in the following ways:
– Say it- Don’t just say ‘I love you’ say ‘I value you’.
– Show it-Take her out, listen to her, spend time with her, and appreciate her.
– Give her gifts
– Call him or her often
– Go back home; avoid night clubs
– Play together; accommodate him or her to your life style.
Building Healthy Marriage
Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success, He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 52 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster Moments.
Get daily lesson and teaching and articles from his blog: bisiadewale.com and You can also get his resources and also send an mail to familybooster01@yahoo.com. for any counselling issue. Visit https://bisiadewale.com for daily updating!
