HOW TO HANDLE OUR EXPECTATIONS IN MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
When you walked down the aisle, what were your hopes and dreams regarding your spouse and your future life together? More than likely, you were optimistic and believed that your marriage would be a happy one.
To handle your expectation, there is a need for you to consider the followings
1. Positive Construction. Develop good and positive expectations which can be met by your mate, bearing in mind that he/she is human, hence, cannot meet all your expectations.
2. Communication. Let your mate know what you desire and how you desire them. Never bottle up your desire, communicate it effectively and listen to your spouse too to know his/her expectations. Use this list as a lead to your discussion
Finances
Sex
Spiritual activities
Roles and responsibilities at home
In-laws and relatives
Character, attitude and habits.
Parenting
Friendship
Food and water
Future
Housing
Dressing
Mentorship
Household chores
Car
Respect
Family growth
Holiday
Recreation
Sport
Hobby
Politics
Job and career
Romance
Outlook
Relationship
Children
Domestic support
Health and personal hygiene, etc.
Pick them one after the other and discuss them deeply. Bear in mind that, it is a continuous process. Never get tired of talking about your expectations because the success of your marriage depends on them.
- Compromise- Be ready to have “full cake”, “half cake”, and “no cake at all” as the case may be. Don’t insist, don’t be rigid, don’t give room for deadlock in your marriage, be ready to lose. Let your marriage win, make it a win-win situation If you keep on insisting on your right; you may win the argument but you will lose a partner, please compromise.
- Contentment. Avoid comparing notes with your friends. Your situation is different. Be content with what God has given to you; walk in His light and give glory to God.
Thanks and God Bless you.
