Politeness: Secret Of Great Marriage


-Bisi  Adewale-

Politeness: Secret Of Great Marriage

To have a successful marriage, to build a better home and make your family a blissful one, everyone involved must pass through “politeness:secret of great marriage”. You can’t be too nice or too polite to your mate. You can’t continue to “put down” your spouse and think your marriage will grow up.

What are the characteristics of being impolite?

Below are some of the characteristics of being impolite to our spouse.

  1. Fighting in public.
  2. Comparing our spouses with our secretaries, house maids, parents, siblings, friend’s spouse, etc.
  3. Criticizing each other. 1 Peter 2:1
  4. Outright condemnation of your spouses’ stature, outlook, parents, job, motherhood, dressing, etc.
  5. Barking orders at one’s wife.
  6. Speaking angrily with abusive words to one’s spouse. Colossians 3:19
  7. Not listening to suggestions offered by your spouse.
  8. Failure to pick his or her calls when your spouse calls. Colossians 3:8
  9. Failure to spend time together.
  10. Infidelity
  11. Reporting him or her to friends, children and family members.
  12. Embarrassing him or her in public.
  13. Not obeying one’s husband. Proverbs 14:1
  14. Using words that belittle your wife.
  15. 15. Telling your partner that he or she is a mistake in your life.
  16. Blaming the wife for the mistakes of the children.
  17. Not complimenting each other’s outlook, dressing, etc.polite couple
READ ALSO:  Mutual Respect In Marriage

How to be polite to your mate

To show that we are polite to our spouse, thereby enjoying the miracle of politeness in marriage, we must do the following:

  1. Speak politely to your spouse. The easiest way to be impolite is through our words. An impolite person uses harsh words, is unkind, full of abusive words, criticizes unjustly and finds it easy to condemn.  The easiest way to be polite can still be through our words; when you speak politely, encourage, motivate, appreciate, praise, assure your spouse of your support and speak to uplift each other. Proverbs 15:23
  2. Be excited when you see your spouse.
  3. Honour him or her in the public and in secret.
  4. Never report your spouse to your friends and family members.
  5. Handle him or her politely in presence of your friends, children and family.
  6. Get angry politely. Even in the face of provocation, get angry without being impolite. You must not talk or act to destroy. When you are angry, express your anger in the most polite way.
  7. Give attention to your spouse. It is an act of being impolite when you ignore your spouse whether at home or in public. This attitude has the capacity to kill your spouse’s morale.
  8. V.I.P your spouse. Treat your spouse as a very important personality. Give high regards to your mate, esteem him or her in your heart and in your actions.
  9. Be a privileged partner. See yourself as a very privileged person to have married your spouse. See him as the president; handle her as you would if the first lady stays in your house. Give your husband a presidential welcome; give your wife a first lady salute. You are privileged to have married a man or woman like her.
  10. Keep his or her secrets. Never divulge the secrets you are privileged to know about your spouse to anybody else. If you do that, you are being impolite. Proverbs 25:2.
  11. Be polite to him or her in absential. Some people are fond of talking ill of their spouses when he or she is not there, only to honour him or her when the person comes. This is wrong. This is an act of disloyalty and very hypocritical. Proverbs 24:3-4
  12. Be polite to him or her in your heart. Don’t ever think negatively about your spouse in your heart, but if it comes, destroy it immediately. The heart is the seat of loyalty and disloyalty. Never allow your heart to work against your marriage; it is dangerous.
  13. Be polite to your spouse even on the phone. Don’t ever fail to pick his or her calls. If you do, which should not be intentional, call him or her back immediately. Speak to him or her with respect on phone. Don’t ever hang up on your spouse; it is a sign of impoliteness. Proverbs 24:26
  14. Argue politely. Even if you think your spouse said something foolish, please don’t confirm it. Argue positively and politely. Talk about the issue at hand in a manner that makes it easy for your spouse to accept correction, thereby preventing a recurrence of such. Proverbs 17:14
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