Killers Of Financial Harmony In Marriage
-Pastor Bisi Adewale
Money suppose to be a source of joy for members of the family and not a source of sorrow and misunderstanding. In this write up I will be opening your eyes to some killers of financial harmony and how to handle them. They are:
?LOVE OF MONEY: “For love of money is the root of all evil, which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith and pierce themselves through with many sorrows”
Money itself is not the beginning of evil but when it becomes your focus or it is idolized, it can destroy the best of all marriages and make a shipwreck of anybody’s faith. Let your focus be on God, not on money or what money can buy.
? IGNORANCE: Ignorance about how to make money righteously or how to spend it wisely has been the bane of many marriages. Some Christian believes that to be poor is to be righteous; hence they prefer to live in poverty and penury. This is wrong, the plan of God for us is prosperity not penury so let’s learn how to spend money to glorify God.
? AZINESS: The scripture frown at laziness, oversleeping or procrastination. A lazy man can NEVER be a good husband, a lazy woman is likely to be a poor and bad wife; there is no way to have financial harmony when any of the couple is lazy. Laziness is the mother of poverty and the brother of penury; it destroys financial harmony at home.
? DRUNKENNESS: People that love alcohol cannot be a good manager of money, they spend lavishly especially when they are drunk, this removes peace from home and destroys financial harmony.
? EXTRAVAGANCY: She bought the latest shoe in town, the latest clothes, costly jewelries, golden wrist watch, expensive bag, the best handsets, etc when her children School fees has not been paid. House rent is due, Electricity bills, water bills, gas bills etc, is mounting. This is what we called extravagant spending. When you spend to the detriment of your family success and progress, you are extravagant. Please put your family first before any other things, this is wise and reasonable.
? DEBT: I was in a church as a guest minister one day, after the message, I was praying for different categories of people; then I asked the people that are in debt to raise their hands so that I will pray for them, I was surprised that more than half of the congregation raised their hands to be prayed for. That is to tell you that many people are in debt in the house of God today. Marriage should not be “until debt do us apart”. Avoid borrowing as much as possible. Never borrow for wedding, naming ceremony, burial etc.
? RELYING ON THIRD PARTY FOR SUSTENANCE: – There can never be financial harmony at home if the couples have to rely on friends or families before they can feed themselves. There is no way people that sustain your family will not dictate how you must live your life. Couples should learn how to labour with their own hands, they should be content with whatever the Lord gives them and co-operate to move the family forward.
? PLANLESS SPENDING: – Most people spend their money as it comes without any plan for the future; majority of families don’t have budget. This is bad and it is a pointer to danger in the future. Financial strain is imminent if you spend your money without plan.
? VISIONLESS: – Planless spending emanate from visionless life. You can’t have plan if you are not having a vision. ALL couples should have vision for their homes and for their finances. Vision of when to have their own car, move into their own house. Vision of good education for their children etc.
? PARTYING: – In this part of the world, partying has become a waste pipe in many homes We celebrate almost everything lavishly; from birthdays, weddings, naming ceremony, to graduation and burial. People borrow just to show people that they are ‘there’, it takes several years for many people to pay the debt incurred during such ceremonies. This is totally wrong.
? SECRECY: – Hiding how much you earn from your partner may bring financial disharmony into that home. Your wife may assume you earn more and thereby demand higher than necessary; what is the basis for hiding your pay packet from your wife; the bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh?
? SECRET ASSISTANCE TO ONE’S FAMILY: It is not right to give assistance to one’s family without the knowledge of one’s partner. If it is discovered, it will destroy or impede trust, it will make the other party to do the same thereby creating a gulf in the home.
All assistance to one’s family must be made known to one’s partner; this is good and right before the Lord.
? SELFISHNESS: – There is nothing that destroys marriage faster than selfishness. A selfish man/ woman cannot be a good husband/wife. If somebody is selfish, it may be hidden in any part of his life at home but there is no way it can be hidden in the area of finances, do not be self centered, feed your family.
Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert. He is the president of college of marital success. He has authored more than 40 books, a renowned international conference speaker and marriage counselor, the host of T.V program called family booster, and the set man of family booster ministry.
You can get his life changing books at http://www.totalfamilyresources.com and free resources on marriage, relationship and family at https://bisiadewale.com.