Bisi Adewale
- Jobs That Takes You Away From God. Any job that takes you away from God Almighty will definitely affect your marriage. Jobs that involves telling lies, stealing, committing crimes for your companies, tax evasion, bribery, corrupt practices, prostitution and sexual gratification for contract opportunities or banker that must sleep with customers to win accounts, etc. You can’t stay in these kind of jobs and think it will not affect your home. A lady was working with an events and tourism organization as an usher and protocol officer and one of her duties was to sleep with guests if they so desire it. They didn’t inform her prior to her appointment and she had to resign once she discovered this. Another wonderful lady resigned from a lucrative banking job when she was asked to sleep with a “big customer” to get an account.
Don’t stay in a job that can take you away from your God, destroy your intimacy with the Almighty and eventually destroy your marriage and family life. You need God more than anybody, you need God more than that job, you need God now and you will need Him tomorrow. Don’t destroy your life and your family life because of a morsel of bread. - Jobs That Cannot Pay Your Bills. If you are working, you should at least be able to meet the basic needs of life. If your take home pack cannot ‘take you home’, I think you need another job. Money is needed to take good care of the home. In fact, there cannot be ROMANCE without FINANCE. If you want your wife to call your HONEY, give her MONEY, lest she sees you as MONKEY. Don’t rest on your oars, paddle on, improve yourself, and increase your capability to make money. Go back to school if your present certificate makes your employer to pay you peanuts. Develop and improve yourself, be a better person. Don’t just say, God will do it, do something; do it now, feed your family and keep your marriage.
- Jobs That Separate You from Your Spouse for More Than 75 Days a Year. Experts classified any job that separate couples for more than 75 days a year as ‘Non-family friendly job’ (NFFJ), jobs that separate couples for more than 100 days a year are seen as “Family Enemy Jobs (FEJ), jobs that separate couples for more than 150 days a year is known as “Family Cancer Jobs” (FCJ). Your family, your marriage becomes endanger as soon as your family enters a ‘NFFJ’ level where you spend more than 75 days away from your spouse yearly. It gives room for suspicion, negative thinking, lack of trust, temptation, sexual immoralities, lust, bad marriage and divorce. It is better to stay in a job that pays less but gives you room to nurture your marriage and your children than to go for a job that makes you an Electronic Couples (Couples that operate only through electronic means like phones, pager, fax, e-mails, etc). It is dangerous for you and your home as it exposes you to constant travels, keeping of two homes, lone raising of children, etc. You need to count the cost before you venture into this kind of job.
- Jobs That Destroys Intimacy. For a couple to become intimate, they must have high ‘couples time’ or intimate talking time (ITT). The lesser the romantic hours; the higher the susceptibility to marriage destruction. In a city like Lagos, many couples are having less than 30 hours a year as romantic hours. That explains why marriages are
difficult for many especially in cities. Please note that romantic hours or intimate talking time is not the period you spend together watching television or even making love. It is the period you spend together playing or talking intimately. Any job that does not give room for that is not a family-friendly job. Some people leave home by 5am only to get back home around midnight every day of the week. No marriage can grow in that kind of situation. That is why I normally discourage a situation where both the husband and wife work in the banking sector at the same time or do any job that makes both of them to leave home before dawn only to come back few minute before midnight.
- Any Job You Do Without Wisdom. Every job is demanding and time-consuming. In fact, what your employer is paying for is your skill, expertise and your time. You are the one who needs to sit down with your spouse and talk it through. Must both of you engage in white collar jobs? Must you work overtime? Must you get a ‘better’ job that will take you away from your family? How about taking a casual leave once in a while just to be with your spouse, to talk, connect and reconnect? Must you be the one travelling every time? Must you always be on the road? You need to apply wisdom to make your marriage the best.
- Any Job That Affects Your Sex Life. Experts say every couple should make love at least 45 times a year. Any couple who make love less than 20 times a year is said to be in a ‘sexless marriage’.
One of the major things that affect sex in marriage is the kind of job the couple is involved in. Any job that makes you sleep with your spouse less than 45 times a year for any reason is not a family-friendly job.
If you don’t do something fast about it, it will destroy your marriage.
Again, you need to talk to your spouse about this and reach an agreement. I think you should get two of our books: SECRETS OF AN IRRESISTIBLE WIFE and SECRETS OF AN IRRESISTIBLE HUSBAND.
We devoted a chapter to balancing career and sex life in the books. Your family life and career will not be the same again.
