JOBS THAT ENDANGERS INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
- Bisi Adewale
Our family is necessary and important. We can’t do without our families, as they are the source of our joy and excitement. Our lives revolve round our families. Their joy or otherwise affects us, as we feel when bad things happen to them or joyful and excited when good things happen. Our career, like our family is equally important. Through our careers, we get money to sustain our families and live a good life.
Most times, our career comes in conflict with family life and intimacy in marriage. In fact, most of the time, career contributes greatly to the destruction of many marriages and families.
If we want to enjoy our life and destinies, if we want to have deep intimacy in our marriages we need to
learn how to handle our families and career wisely.
Here are examples of jobs that pose as risks to marital intimacy.
- All Jobs That Involve Constant Transfer. Jobs that involve moving from one station to another can endanger marriage and family life. It can work against the love life of the parent and adversely affect the children’s social and academic life. You need to count the cost, discuss openly and frankly with your spouse and seek ways of dealing with problems that may likely emanate from such a job before accepting the job offer. People in the Military, Police, Para-military, Pastors in denominational churches among others all fall into this category. Wisdom should be applied lest constant transfer destabilizes your family life.
- All Jobs That Involve Shift. Jobs that involve working shift too can affect intimacy in marriage. Doctors, Nurses, some factory workers, journalists in electronic media, care givers, fire-brigade, etc fall into this category. Working on shift can hurt the family, most especially if it is not wisely handled. Shift that put you in opposite direction to your spouse is dangerous. Taking a job whereby as you are coming home; your spouse is going out or as you are going out, your spouse is coming in; leaves little or no time to spend together, talk, pray, play and make love as you would have loved. Be wise when faced with a job offer in this regards but if you are already in this kind of job, you need to discuss with your spouse and agree on what to do about it. You can also prayerfully discuss with your manager and see what can be done before it destroys your marriage.
- Jobs That Involve Permanent Night Shift. There is something about the night in every family. This is the period all members of the family should be together. Children are back from school; daddy and mummy should be available too. Any job that involves working night duties only is dangerous for your family. Please don’t take up such a job as it will hurt the life of your children, love life, marriage and ultimately, your sex life. It even gives room for infidelity. Can you imagine a woman who is on permanent night duty with a grown-up housemaid at home to take care of the children and a sexually unsatisfied husband? What do you think will happen? When the husband is at work, the woman is not at home. When the man returns home, he only returns to the warm embrace of the housemaid; who is now the deputy wife. You know what is likely going to happen. Don’t ever go for a job that put you on a permanent night shift, no matter the amount of money involved.
- Jobs That Takes Your Weekend and Public Holidays without Any Compensation for It. Some jobs involve weekend duties and give no room for public holidays. Journalists, workers in aviation industries, people working in essential services organization like electricity, fire service, Water Corporation, health care providers, security services, etc all fall into this category but there should be ‘compensation for weekend services. Nobody should be made to work seven days a week; it is not good for the worker’s health, his or her morale and family life. Every worker that works on weekend should have “off days” during the week at least a day and should also be compensated financially for it. If you work in any place, where you work seven days a week; you are not working; you are in a slave camp. You need to do something about it before the job destroys you, your health and your family life.
- Jobs That Give No Room for Rest. Experts say everybody should rest daily, weekly and yearly. Daily, in the night, weekly, at weekends, yearly, during annual leave. Any job you are doing that does not give you room for these resting times is not a good job. Every employer should give room for annual leave. You should not allow your employer to pay you in lieu of your leave. Holiday period and weekend is the right period to connect and reconnect with your family. Look forward to it, fight for it, and make good use of it. Don’t ever take up a job that does not give room for vacation. If you are already in a job like this; talk to your manager with wisdom. Your vacation is your right; ask for it, be wise!
