ADJUSTMENT: THE WAY TO MARITAL BLISS

ADJUSTMENT: THE WAY TO MARITAL BLISS

Adewale 

Before marriage, couples in love normally have the idea that they are “compatible” hence, there will be no problem after marriage. Modern-day teachers of compatibility even make things difficult for couples, as they go into marriage with the mind that they are ball and socket. 

After the wedding, they will discover that they are different. Hence, they need to adjust to meet the needs of each other. It is either they adjust and grow closer or resent and grow apart.  

What is adjustment? Adjustment means to make small changes to something, especially to its position, to improve or make it more effective. It means to gradually get used to a new situation by making changes to the way you do things. 

Adjustment also means a change that someone makes to the way he behaves or thinks.  

Hence, adjustment means: 

– Change of behaviour 

– To get used to a new situation 

– To make small changes 

Facts about adjustment

1. Both husband and wife need to adjust 
2. Adjustment is continuous; Newlywed need to adjust to about all things, As the wife becomes pregnant, adjustment starts again, when the baby comes, when the baby starts school, when children become two, three, etc. they get married and leave the home when the woman enters menopause, adjustment is continuous throughout the lifetime of couples. 
3. The first five years is the gracing year; This is the period when most adjustment takes place; this period must be handled carefully. 

Areas to adjust in marriage

1. Sexual relationship 
2. Social activities 
3. Food 
4. Money handling 
5. In-laws relationships 
6. Career 
7. Way of dressing
8. Arrival of baby 
9. Habits and character. etc

WAYS TO EASY ADJUSTMENT IN MARRIAGE 

1. Prayer:Commit everything to God in prayer 
2. Good communication:Never say something like this: 

“You are always selfish” 

“You are too slow ”

“You forget things easily”. 

“I regret I married you, etc

Let there be positive communication i.e praises, apology, godly humour and jokes, etc. 

3.   Make up your mind to accept your partner as he/she is. Always remember that you did not marry an angel. 
4.   Change your character, it is not cast in marble. 
5.   Express love 
6.   Love generously
7.   Forgive easily 
8.   Never give room for divorce in your heart. 
9. Increase your knowledge. Read books, attend seminars, go for counsel. 
10. Never compare your partner with anybody. 
11. Be filled with the Holy Ghost 
12. Be filled with the word of God. 
13. Never think you mismarried 
14. Be selfless 
15. Be a positive partner.           

© Bisi Adewale 2020