15 MISTAKES OF YOUNG COUPLES IN MARRIAGE
Young couples do make some very silly mistakes that do destroy their marriage or make the journey very difficult, you need to know them and avoid them like a plaque to avoid falling into the errors of others. I will mention some of them here:
1. Not putting God first: Most of the times, singles have a good rapport with God as they seek His face before choosing whom to marry and during wedding preparation, putting Him first in all things. But once many gets married, they relegated God to the background not having enough time to pray or study the Bible together as a couple. Some often allow pregnancy, care of children, domestic chores and job demand to affect their relationship with God.
The point of choosing a life-partner should not be an end to your relationship with God, you need God in the character of your spouse, finances, pregnancy, delivery, protection, continuous affection, spiritual warfare, business, career, sound health and every aspect of your marriage. Form the habit of putting God first in all things because you need the mind of Christ to stay married joyfully.
2. Not giving room to learn about marriage: If marriage must remain green, continuous learning is the key. Many young couples don’t know that it takes knowledge to make a marriage work and to build a good home. Add knowledge to knowledge by attending marriage conferences, couples programs and reading quality marriage and parenting books. The more you learn about marriage the better your marriage becomes.
3. Not giving room to learn about spouse: Another silly mistake of young couples is not learning about the spouse he /she married. Wake up to the fact that you married a different gender. A man is different from a woman in numerous ways and if you are not aware of these differences, there will be a lot of things to fight about. Stop being judgmental, take time to know about the opposite sex and be patient to study the true nature of your spouse.
4. Disrespecting each other: Respect keep sanity in marriage but once disrespect becomes an order of the day between husband and wife, their marriage will move from a love garden to a boxing ring. Regardless of your age difference, respect one another and your home will be peaceful.
5. Thinking they mis-married: The mind is the laboratory where good or bad marriage is processed.
Thinking you mis-married will make you lose interest in the union and be finding an escape route out of your marriage. Stop thinking negatively, think right! You married right, your present challenges only reveals that your marriage required more efforts to work.
6. Keeping friends of the opposite sex: Having much opposite sex as friends in your marriage will leave room for suspicion and extra-marital affairs. Since you are married, give a gap to all your friends of the opposite sex and stick to your spouse. Avoid calling and chatting with them regularly. Avoid sharing intimate issues with them.
7. Operating in Anger: Marriage is fragile, a constant outburst of anger will shatter it to pieces. Put your emotion under control and deal with your anger else it will bring the worst in your spouse. Stop operating in anger, operate in love.
8. Fighting over little stuff: Fighting over little things are the cause of big issues in marriage. Little things like an unflushed toilet, wrong way of pressing the toothpaste, water on the bathroom floor, socks on the floor, among others. To have a blissful marriage, you must learn to overlook somethings because your spouse can not behave exactly like you.
9.Failure to adjust: Husbands and wives are different in gender, background, personality, lifestyle and reasoning. The reason they can live together is to be ready to adjust. Adjustment is making small changes to a new lifestyle. Where you can not adjust, you will have many things to fight about.
10. Acting single: Many young couples were still behaving like single guys and girls that is why they think solo, mind their personal needs without minding the needs of their spouse, sleeping over in a friend’s house without minding the spouse among others are the signs of acting single which may destroy the marriage.
11. Calling friends to settle disputes: In a marriage, there will be conflicts but inviting family and friends to settle the disputes often adds more fuel to the fire because most of the times, they will take sides and fail to address the issue. If you have any issue in your marriage, don’t report to your friends, instead see your pastor or a marriage counsellor.
12. Hating in-laws: Lack of knowledge make many young couples hate their in-laws. The more you wage war against your in-laws, the more the problem it will create in that marriage. Your in-laws are not your enemy, treat them with love and get knowledge on how to relate with them from books, messages.
13. Rejecting food: It is a sign of immaturity for either of the parties in the marriage to reject food. This is common to men and it often hurts women who laboured to cook. Stop being childish, settle any issue you are having amicably without allowing it to affect your dining table romance.
14. Stop dating: So many couples erroneously believed that dating ends immediately after the wedding. This has affected a lot of budding marriages. Marriage required continuous and constant dating to refresh love.
15. Putting your family over your spouse: Putting your mother, father Uncle, Aunt or siblings above your spouse is a wrong other that is capable of turning you against your spouse and shipwreck your marriage. The order should be God, your spouse, your children and others.
© Bisi Adewale 2020