Marriage

9 ESSENTIAL THINGS TO DO AS A NEW COUPLE

May 4, 2020

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9 ESSENTIAL THINGS TO DO AS A NEW COUPLE

Bisi Adewale

What you do when your marriage is new and love is very hot and steamy may determine what will happen eventually to your marriage in the long run.

Your actions, reaction and inactions will sum up together to determine the destiny of your marriage. So, take the step to do what is right and great to make your marriage good perpetually. The following are what you need to do when your marriage is young:

BUILD A COUPLE’S ALTAR: Start the good habit of praying together. Pray for everything and about anything. Praying together will get both of you intimate with God and make both of you very close to each other. You will not just be husband and wife, you will be prayer partners. Starting the habit of praying together early in your marriage will make it better and stronger.

FAMILY VALUES: Have family Values. Have this written out on a glazed material and hanged in a conspicuous place in your house. This will be the basis of your relationship with each other and your parenting work. Your children will grow up to know this and base their lives on your family values.

FAMILY VISION STATEMENT: Turn your values to vision statements. Make it visible in the living room. Your family must have a focus from the beginning. This will help you to go far in life.

START A GOOD COMMUNICATION SYSTEM: It has been discovered that many young couples do not have an effective way to talk in their marriage. If you do not learn how to talk effectively in your marriage, you will be like distant friends or co-tenants. Your house will feel like a hostel, not a home.

DEVELOP FIGHTING STYLES: Fighting style? Yes! You need to talk about fighting. In other words, you need to talk about what to do in conflict. Don’t pretend about it and don’t think it won’t happen. Marriage is a long haul journey. You will offend each other, argue about issues, disagree sharply about how to run your life. You need to discuss this and agree on what is acceptable and what is not. You may agree never to report your case to anybody except your marriage counsellor or mentor. Some young couples agree never to speak to anybody including mentors. This is wrong. Your counsellors are not third parties but help-parties. Speak to your counsellors. Agree never to abuse, accuse, curse, fight violently or raise your voices against each other. This will help your marriage a great deal.

DEVELOP PEOPLE MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES: Discuss how people around you can be managed. Your kind of friends should be put into consideration.

AGREE ON MONEY MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES: Talk about money management, how to make money, the system of account, tithing, giving, offerings, borrowing, saving, investment, etc.

AGREE ON INLAW MANAGEMENT: How far can an in-law go? Can they live with you? Who will take care of them? How close can they be? You need to agree on this.