9 ASSOCIATES OF MONEY THAT CAN KILL MARRIAGE
Bisi Adewale
Money is very important in marriage. It can make or mar a home and it is one of the major reasons people are failing in marriage. Experts say money is the number one reason for divorce worldwide. That is why we must handle money carefully and must not allow the following money factors to destroy our marriage.
- Poverty. Marriage is always difficult when the needs of the family can not be met. Poverty is a major reason many marriages fail. “All the brethren of the poor do hate him, how much more do his friends go far from him? He pursueth them with words, yet they are wanting to him”. Proverbs 19:7
Solution: Improve your money-making ability. Learn how to manage money rightly, live below your means and increase your financial intelligence.
- Debt.Debt is bondage. It can be damaging as it makes the debtor a servant to the lender. It destroys love at home and denies the family the ability to fulfil its potentials.
Solution: Exercise discipline. Avoid buying things on credit. Avoid the buy-now-pay-later syndrome. Handle your credit card wisely or you can do away with it. Be determined to pay all your debts and avoid new ones. Debt is not a friend; it is a sworn enemy.
- Bad Money Habit. Extravagance, stinginess, greed, etc. Are all bad money habits. Many people are extravagant in spending on themselves and outsiders but are stingy at home. This kind of habit will certainly cause a marriage to fail.
Solution: Develop good money habits. Make money, and learn how to give to God, your family and the needy. Don’t spend all you make. Save some and invest some so that your money can multiply and lay a solid foundation for your future. “He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man, he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich”. Proverbs 21:17
- Love of Money. Love of money which is the root of all evils is also the root of many divorces and separations. The love of money is the foundation of greed, show-off spending, stinginess, stealing, lying, competitive attitude, workaholic, money-at-all-cost syndrome, etc.
Solution: You can’t serve mammon (money) and God simultaneously. You can’t love money and love God. Don’t ever allow money to dominate your life, because it possesses the inherent tendency to destroy you, your house and your family. “But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil, which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows”.
1Timothy 6:9-10
- Independent Mindedness. Many people believe that their money is independent of their marriage. They are ready to be joined to their mates if it does not involve their bank accounts. Their mindset is; I made my money and I should be able to spend it the way I want. This is the main reason money is destroying homes.
Solution: What God has joined together, never permit account (money) to put asunder. Work in unity in every aspect of your marital life, money inclusive. Mark 10:9
- Irresponsibility. Some people are simply irresponsible. Many of them are making money but will never take care of themselves and the children. This is very bad. I have met a couple of men, who though they are graduates, they would rather stay at home, fully depending on their wives than look for something worthwhile to do.
Solution: You are not yet a man if you cannot feed your family. The Bible says whosoever fails to provide for his family is worse than an infidel. (1Timothy 5:8). Go out to work brother. Feed your wife and children. Provide for them; that is what makes you a man. (1 Thessalonians 5:8)
- Dependency. For the female folk, some women are also unproductive. They are not “help meet”, but “help eat”. They depend on their husbands for everything including the purchase of a mere handkerchief. That is totally wrong. Although, in some parts of the world a woman may not work, in this part of the world, women cannot afford to be lazy and dependent. “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands”. Proverbs 31:13
Solution: Get a job for yourself, no matter how little. There is dignity in labour.
- Too Many Responsibilities.When too many mouths are depending on a meagre income, it will affect the home. Many families in Africa are suffering under this yoke.
Solution: Build a family you can be responsible for. Personally, I suggest a maximum of three children per family. Don’t carry a load of your extended family on your head lest it breaks your neck. Seeking to satisfy everybody will only destroy your financial life.
- Financial Infidelity. Lack of faithfulness in financial matters in marriage is another pitfall in family success. When married people are fond of cheating on their spouses, giving secret support to their own families, stealing, lying, hiding new things bought without the knowledge of their partners, accumulating secret debts, making major purchases without informing their spouses, they are not financially intimate. The truth is if couples cannot agree on money, they will find it difficult to agree on other parts of their life.
Solution: Be faithful and open to each other. Don’t cheat on each other, be transparent and trustworthy.
© Bisi Adewale 2020
