MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE A LOVE AFFAIR
MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE A LOVE AFFAIR
Bisi Adewale
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies (S O S 4:1-5).
- Remain friends: Never outgrow friendship, remain connected. Care, love, jokes, play, are all acts of friendship; be committed to them.
2 Spend quality time together: Togetherness is said to be the soul of marriage. In fact, the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E. Never allow the demands of modern day life squeeze the life out of your marriage. Spend quality time together. Talk. Keep on talking, express your minds in love, let there be deep and heartfelt discussions. Be open to each other. Talk; look straight into each other’s eyes. Talk, touching each other; be intimate. Be lovers.
- Create an atmosphere for romance: Be vulnerable, jovial; laugh easily, be playful like a child. Look forward to being together, love each other’s company. Don’t be tired of romance, be creative and thoughtful; just do it.
- Create time for recreation: Your marriage cannot thrive if you are always on the fast lane of life. Slow down; create time to rest, relax and play. When last did you relax together? When last did you to play together? Communication can only get to the peak and you can remain intimate as you relax together.
- Give gifts: Lovers exchange gifts. Give gifts to your spouse; don’t wait till his or her birthday. Do it now! Go ahead; celebrate your spouse through giving. Give generously; one good way to show love is to give. For God so loved the world and gave His only begotten son… John 3:16.
- Celebrate each other: Be excited about each other. Look forward to meeting each other and be glad to be together. Be proud of each other, and use every opportunity to celebrate each other with excitement.
- Celebrate special days: Your spouse’s birthday should not go unnoticed; celebrate it. Make it the most important day in your life and do everything to always make it remarkable. Also don’t forget your wedding anniversary, father’s day, mother’s day and some other special days in your life. Do everything to celebrate them, just for your spouse.
- Be generous with appreciation: Everybody loves to be appreciated; do it to your spouse, do it now! Appreciate everything and stop being critical. Women get better when they are appreciated for good looks and good food.
- Forgive generously: For you to retain the fire of love in your marriage, you must be ready to be a generous forgiver. No matter how good your marriage is, no matter how strong you are as a Christian, you will still offend each other. That is why you must cultivate the habit of quick and total forgiveness.
- Let there be oneness: Do not just be together, be one. Togetherness is physical; oneness is a state of mind. Let there be a unity of purpose, unity of direction, and unity of focus.
- Be Committed to each other: No matter what happens, be committed to each other. Never think of calling it quits. Stay long enough in that marriage to make it a success; be faithful and be fruitful.
- Be ready to serve and make sacrifices: Do not be content with what your spouse will do for you; rather, look out for what you can do for him or her. Serve your spouse when it is convenient or when it is not. Learn to sacrifice; do not always be at the receiving end, be at the giving end.
- Be selfless in your thinking and actions: Do everything without selfishness. Be selfless; put your spouse first in everything. Do not say “myself”, say “you”; not “mine” but “ours”. Look out for the good of your partner, by all means; celebrate each other’s existence.
- Operate in love: Let love motivates whatever you do. Be clothed with love. Talk in love and if you must be angry, do so in love. If you must ‘fight’, do it in love. And if you must misunderstand, it must end in understanding
. 15. Be playful: This is where couples miss it. Many couples do not play together. That is why the house is always hot and tense. Be playful at home; never be too serious. Relax. Throw pillows at each other at pillow fights. Hide behind a door and jumping out unexpectedly to frighten your spouse. Be creative about this. Men especially should not allow their ego to deprive them of the enjoyment in being playful with their wives. This will in no way demean them; it will only show them to be real men.
- Let there be humour: Crack jokes, laugh heartily. It is good for your health and marriage. Laugh over mistakes; make positive jests of each other. Light up the whole house and make it a place to be.
- Be generous with touching: Touch each other; make it your habit to touch each other as you talk. Cuddle as you sleep, massage each other’s body. Sleep on the rug or sofa with your spouse’s head on your lap. Walk the street hand in hand. At home rest on each other’s shoulder and make your home the best.
- Give love-making a chance: Do not ‘rape’ each other; don’t just have sex, make love. Get fulfillment in your bedroom life; celebrate sex in your marriage. It is a gift from God. Do not allow it to become a problem in your marriage. Talk about it; improve yourself. Learn, read books, go for counsel. By all means, be a better lover in the bedroom.
MAKING YOUR MARRIAGE A LOVE AFFAIR
