8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children
When a child shows gratitude properly, he is demonstrating empathy, or the ability to share in another person’s thoughts and feelings. Not only is empathy crucial to a child as he grows in the world of his peers, but an empathic child logically feels more connected to his parents.
Teaching gratitude
Today’s parents find that teaching children about gratitude and empathy can be difficult. Thankfully, there are many ways to raise children to become more appreciative and to show it. Here are some surefire strategies: 8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children 8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children 8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children
1. Teach good manners.
“Teach them to say ‘thank you’ whenever he receives goods, services, or acts of kindness,” says Server. Make the connection between acts of kindness and appropriate words. You are not only teaching him good manners, you are also teaching him about empathy.
2. Don’t demand thanks.
Avoid commanding your child to be courteous or withholding a gift if he doesn’t say ‘thank you.’ Remember that gratitude shouldn’t stem from shame or fear of punishment. Your child is less likely to learn this value if it is prevailed upon him, especially if he is scolded or shamed.
3. Consider the reasons behind ungrateful behavior.
A child who is hungry, upset, over-stimulated or tired can hardly be expected to be on his best behavior. Take his temperament into account as well. Some kids are more outgoing and talkative and therefore more likely to express their thanks easily as opposed to a reserved child. 8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children 8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children 8 Ways to Teach Gratitude to our Children
4. Praise empathic impulses.
“In the preschool classroom,” Server explains, “we teachers embellish in order to get the point across.” They say things like, “I think that it was sweet of Alissa to share her crackers with Gabby. I know that is Alissa’s favorite snack. I’m also proud of Gabby for not forgetting to say ‘thank you.’” By making comments like this, they show everyone that they approve of these acts. The kids also become more conscious of how their generosity and appreciation affect their friends.
5. Make the child part of the gift-giving process.
Take your child along as you do your Christmas gift shopping. If this is too difficult, Server suggests, “Employ your child’s help when making homemade gifts, like baked goods or home décor or simply ask him to decide which gift should go to whom.” By doing so, you make him learn to see how much of an effort it takes, and you make him more appreciative of the gifts he receives from others.
6. Train your kids to write thank-you notes.
They can write notes to teachers, aunts, coaches, or anyone who gives gifts. Notes are important because they demonstrate and instill a higher level of appreciation. The child would have to think a lot more about what the person actually did for him and therefore internalize why he should be grateful. Server suggests older kids to send e-mail, phone calls or text messages, or even to make their own thank-you cards.
7. Don’t open the presents all at one go.
“It is good to space gift-opening, so you have time to look at the virtues of each gift,” says Server. Be it on Christmas day or your child’s birthday, you should let your child play with, eat or try on the gift before heading on to the next one.
8. Be a role model for your children.
If showing appreciation is not one of your best suits, then you can’t expect your children to be grateful either. “A parent who constantly snickers or bemoans gifts received over the holidays should be careful,” says Server. It is possible that the child will follow your example and repeat some of the unpleasant comments upon opening gifts he does not particularly like. It would be better if she hears you make such comments such as, “This shirt is a really pretty color. Nicole must have remembered how much I like blue. I’m going to give her a call to say thanks.”
Ultimately, the best way for parents to teach gratitude is the old-fashioned way — by living it out at home. Saying “thank you” to each other and recognizing the special contributions of each family member will naturally lead children to carry the attitude of gratitude into their adult lives. And though it is easy to lose ourselves in all the revelry and gift giving that the holiday season brings, gratitude is the best gift of all.
