How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
-By Bisi Adewale
“The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord: but the words of the pure are pleasant words” How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
Proverbs 15:26
Three Major things will affect your Marriage. They are: What you THINK, What you SAY and What you DO. But the most important among the three of them is what you think as it affects what you say and do.How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Your thinking will determine your attitude, habit and character which will ultimately determine the destiny of your Marriage. How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
If you think right then your marriage will be right. If your thinking is wrong, you will be the wrong partner in that marriage. You can’t change your marriage until you change your thinking.
One major thing that affects the way we act or react at home is our fears, which is our negative thinking. The way we manage and channel our fears will determine the destiny of our marriage.How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
Gary Smalley is one of my marriage heroes. His books about relationships have been some of the most influential in my life. In one of his books, The DNA of Relationships, he talks about a concept called the “fear dance.” Where we dance to our fears without hearing any beat. That simply means we allow our fears to control us even if we will not admit it.
In marriage, Husbands and wives have different core fears;
Men tend to fear things like helplessness, being controlled, failure, and disrespect.
Women tend to fear disconnection, not being appreciated, not being heard, or not being valued.
When we process these fears, we begin to act according to their dictates ultimately bringing the worst out of us. If you are able to manage your thought rightly, you overcome these fears, become a better partner and ultimately build better home.How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
WRONG WAYS TO THINK IN MARRIAGE
I mis-married
My partner is cheating on me
So and so is better than my spouse
My Ex is better than my Spouse
My spouse is cheating me
My wife is a witch
My husband hates me
This woman/man will kill me
RIGHT WAYS TO THINK
I married the right partner
My wife is very beautiful
My husband is very handsome
I’m getting the best from my marriage
My spouse is the best
My husband loves me
I trust my wife
My future is secure with this man
I love been with my husband
I celebrate my wife
My wife is a beauty queen
My husband is a great leader
HOW TO MANAGE YOUR THOUGHT
1) Keep right association
1 Corinthians 15:33 KJV
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
Bad association leads to evil communication that corrupts good manners. When you are always with wrong people be very sure that you will hear wrong things that will make you to think and behave wrongly. So always be in the right association. How To Build A Great Marriage Through Your Thoughts
2) Feed your heart with the word of God: The word of God is very important if you want to think rightly. If you meditate only on the word of God, you will be able to think great thoughts that build marriage.
Psalm 1:1-2 KJV
[1] Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. [2] But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
3) Take charge of your thinking: You are 100% responsible for how you think and what you think. You may always feel that you don’t have power over your thoughts but the truth is-Yes, you do. All you need is to learn to take charge of your thinking by stopping negative thoughts when they come. Don’t allow it to take charge of your life.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, Whatsaap 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter @bisiadewale
