Relationship

BE CONVINCED BEFORE YOU SAY I DO

January 9, 2020

1355

BE CONVINCED BEFORE YOU SAY I DO

By Bisi Adewale

Getting married is not about getting a roommate; it is by far deeper than that. It is about your life, your destiny and your future.

If you get holed up with a wrong roommate, you can easily change him or her after a while; it is not for life. But in marriage, your partner turns to your roommate, house mate, life mate, bed mate, vision mate, destiny mate and soul mate. It is a life time affair. You can’t afford to handle it carelessly, hence don’t let your feelings control you. Ask yourself sincerely whether you are sure you are about to take the right step. Check your conscience, your fear, your reservations. Don’t ignore them. If you do, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

My question to you is, are you sure? Are you convinced? Are you really sure? Hope you are not deceiving yourself?

CONVICTIONS CHECK-LIST

God’s leading: Are you sure God is leading you into this relationship? Are you sure God is involved?
Conversion: Are you sure this person is a child of God? I hope you are not deceiving yourself?
Love: Are you in love? Is the guy really in love with you? Is the love genuine? Is the foundation, right? Can the love stand the test of time?
Character: Is the person of a good character? Can you live with his/her character? Hope you are not thinking he or she will change for the better (Many people don’t change for the better in marriage). In fact, they do grow worse, so don’t deceive yourself.
Trust: Do you trust him or her? Is he or she honest, truthful and faithful?
Observation: Have you observed him/ her enough to take a firm decision?
Knowledge: Do you really know him or her? Do you have all the necessary information? Are you comfortable with all the information you have about him or her?
Time: Have you spent enough time together to truly know him or her? Is the courtship long enough? Hope you are not in a hurry? (Note that if you GET MARRIED LIKE A LIGHTING, YOU MAY END UP WITH A THUNDER).
Friendship: Are you friends? Do you connect like friends? Do you play like friends? Do you forgive each other like friends? Do you cooperate like friends? Do you talk like friends?
Agreement: Have you agreed on all necessary issues? Have you agreed on the church to attend, where to live, number of children, health, in-laws, etc.
Medical: Do you know his/her health history? What is your genotype? What is his or her own? (You know AS cannot marry AS or SS) Hope you are not deceiving yourself about health matters?
Prayer: Have you prayed enough? Are you really sure?
Counsel: Have you gotten enough counsel? Is the counsel from the right source?
Training: Have you attended pre-marital counseling? How many books have you read? How many seminars have you attended? How much do you know about communication in marriage, adjustment in marriage, conflict management in marriage, forgiveness, child rearing and bearing, etc.?
Conflict management: Have you ever fought? If you have been together for more than 6 months and you have never had a misunderstanding, both or one of you is a pretender. Be yourself, be real, let him or her know who you are. Discard the mask. Have you learnt how to forgive each other? Have you learnt how to settle your disputes without calling a third party? Have you been able to deal with anger and stubbornness?

Don’t ever go into that marriage if you still have your doubts. Don’t be afraid of what people will SAY. It is your life and destiny, don’t joke with it.