7 KEYS TO A GREEN MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
“And the key of the house of David will I lay upon his shoulder; so he shall open, and none shall shut, and he shall shut, and none shall open.” Isaiah 22:22 KJV
There are seven major things that will make your marriage evergreen all the days of your life no matter what happens and no matter the age of your spouse and yours. Take care of these four things and your marriage will take care of itself. They are:
- ACCEPTANCE
As you grow older in marriage, some of the things that attract you to each other may begin to disappear due to wear and tear of life, old age, childbearing, parenting and many more. The face that looks so beautiful may begin to show signs of wrinkles; the breasts may be falling down and strength may begin to weaken. Beauty may begin to fade; health may be challenged; skills may be challenged; finance may not be as strong as before and gifts and talents may be overtaken by technology.
As these happen, the attraction may begin to wear away and infatuation would end totally. These will affect love negatively, especially if it has been based on physical appearance.
What will help your marriage at this stage and make it love filled and green till the end is called ‘acceptance’. Yes, acceptance of the person you chose to marry will make the marriage green till the end. Your acceptance of your spouse should be based on the following:
- The commandment of God: God commanded that you should live with your spouse with joy, so obey this.
- Shared past: Think of the past you share, the battle you fought and won together, where you started and where you are now.
- An envisioned future: Think of your vision together; think of the future you desire to live in together which you have both dreamed about together in the past.
- Good deeds of the past: Think of the good deeds of your spouse in the past, his love, her service, and why you chose to marry him or her among others.
- Portion thinking: Know that your spouse is the only portion you have on earth (Ecclesiastes 9:9). You can’t afford to look down on your own portion.
- EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Communication in effective ways is one thing that will make your marriage evergreen and fresh. Your walk in marriage depends on your talk at home. Your communication must be deep, open, honest, loving, positive and even romantic if you want a great marriage.
- FIGHTING FAIR
Whenever there is a misunderstanding, what you do matters in your marital journey. Disagreement is not a curse. How you handle it wisely is maturity.
Abusing each other, shouting at each other, reporting to third parties, keeping malice, rejecting food, lying, cursing, etc. are all the ways people fight wrongly in marriage.
- POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Resolving conflict quickly and wisely is one thing that will make your marriage fresh and green. When conflicts linger, marriage deteriorates. When we resolve conflict quickly and not allow it to turn to a crisis, we give our marriages the room to progress.
- WISE MARRIAGE MANAGEMENT
Managing marriage wisely by improving relationship techniques and develop a better relationship management is one thing that will make a marriage great.
When you improve to be a better spouse, you give a better life to your marriage.
So keep on learning, keep on growing, be a better spouse than yesterday. That is what makes marriage fresh and green.
- CONSTANT LOVE RENEWAL
Love can grow cold, love can become stale, marriage can drift and lovers can grow apart. That is why you must get committed to renewing your love in your marriage constantly.
This involves so many things like taking a critical look at love and marriage always; evaluating where you were and where you are now; checking communication, love, sex, romance and joy in marriage.
This also involves a deliberate setting aside of time to be together in order to allow love to grow and glow. Thus, giving the room for bonding, intimacy and expressing love to each other constantly.
7. LOVE MAKING
The state of sex in your marriage will also affect how green and great your marriage is. If you allow sex to fly out of the window in your marriage, then you’ve given room for dryness that has killed so many homes. Thus, giving the room for infidelity, anger, hatred and dry marriage.
That is why sex must be given a very important position in your marriage.
Learn about it, improve on it, do it better and get better results.
