Kinds Of Kisses Your Spouse Does Not Like
In my day-to-day interactions with couples,I get enough complaints about kissing.This ranges from kissing denials,hatred for kissing or a particular style. As I was ruminating on how to address this issue;then I encountered this great post on yourtango.com by Em& Lo which perfectly matched what I really want to address. Do you want to learn the technique in kissing? Enjoy this piece: Kinds Of Kisses Your Spouse Does Not Like
In this excerpt, Violet details the six most hazardous kinds of kisses you might encounter in the field:Kinds Of Kisses Your Spouse Does Not Like
1. The Fish Tank Kiss
Every girl’s nightmare.
He’s totally cute, funny, the conversation is good – but then you kiss and it feels like he’s trying to clean the inside of your mouth as if it was a fish tank. As the minutes pass more slowly than you ever thought possible, you wonder if he’s actually looking for treasure. His tongue is too hard, and it darts about quickly and all pokey.
You are usually too stunned to decide whether you should wait it out or hold up a “send help” sign. Toss this one back into the sea.
2. The Chewing Gum Kiss
You’ve seen these before – a couple joined at the mouth, lips locked in a deep French-kissing session that looks like they’re about to gnaw each other’s head off.
Don’t worry, everyone will be fine, but this combination of French Kiss and Fish Tank Kiss with extreme jaw movement looks pretty scary if you watch too many horror movies.
3. The Limp Noodle
So sad, the Noodle.
When you lock lips and start to French, and his lips just hang there and his tongue lies there like a slug, you have a Limp Noodle on your hands.Kinds Of Kisses Your Spouse Does Not Like
No matter how much you push, massage, and prod his tongue to bring it back to life, it plays possum, dead in the middle of the road. There is nothing you can do – you’re basically giving mouth-to-mouth to this guy.
4. Mercy Kisses
Sometimes you kiss for fun, and sometimes you just have to give a kiss out of pity – hence the Mercy Kiss.Kinds Of Kisses Your Spouse Does Not Like
You give these kisses when you feel bad about something, want your date to look good (even though you aren’t into him), or just feel sorry for the poor sap. Only in the movies do these kisses turn into a blazing romance.
If you end up on the receiving end of a Mercy Kiss, just enjoy it and then excuse yourself to go wash your cat.
5. The Zombie Kiss
Another nightmare kiss many of us have experienced, which seems to come from beyond the grave.
It’s as if all the life drains out of him as he comes in for a kiss: the eyes flutter, clamp shut, or roll back into his head. His face goes slack and lifeless. And the most horrifying part of all: his mouth opens up into a gaping maw, threatening to swallow you whole.
Sometimes the Zombie Kisser comes at you like a lost extra from Night of the Living Dead, mouth agape, with a shiny pink sluglike tongue pointing out at you. Scream! Run! Barricade theDOORS
and windows! Kinds Of Kisses Your Spouse Does Not Like
6. The Zoolander Kiss
Ever wonder what it would be like to kiss an international male model?
The Zoolander makes you feel like you’re a pretty prop designed to make him look good as he poses, shifts, and gives his “sexy” face to the world while kissing you. Would he notice if you were gone? Probably not.
The Zoolander Kiss is meant purely to compliment the physical beauty of the man kissing you – it’s not for anyone’s actual physical pleasure. It’s used when trying to impress others or to make someone jealous.
