Understanding Leaving In Marriage

Understanding Leaving In Marriage

-Bisi Adewale

Understanding Leaving In Marriage

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:24-25).Understanding Leaving In Marriage

Understanding Leaving In Marriage-During one of his numerous teachings, our Lord Jesus Christ taught about issues surrounding marriage and divorce in both Matthew 19:5-6 and Mark 10:7-8 while Apostle Paul reiterated those teachings in Ephesians 5:31. This shows how important the issue of LEAVING AND CLEAVING is to the success of any marriage. A deep study on the essence of leaving and cleaving is highly important because ignorance in this regard has been the bane of many marriages over the years. Many couples find it easy to pick other issues like sexual or financial problems as the source of their marital woes but they are blind to the fact that the absence of leaving and cleaving is actually a toxic disease to any marriage.

What leaving is not?

• It doesn’t mean abandoning your parents, leaving them to suffer.
• It isn’t disrespecting or disregarding them.
• It is not failing to call them or refusing to pick their calls.
• It doesn’t mean hating your parents.
• It is not embarrassing them in the presence of your spouse and children.
• It is not about dropping all the Christian values they have planted in you.
• It is not forsaking them in their time of needs.
• It does not involve discontinuing visits to them.

What leaving is?

When people understand what leaving is, they can leave properly.Understanding Leaving In Marriage

• It means not making your parents and siblings your priority. Your spouse now comes first.
• It means emotionally detaching yourself from other relationships.
• It means you are no more under the influence of your parents.
• They are no more your counselors.
• It means you are not depending on them financially.
• It means not visiting them too frequently; visiting them will even be with the knowledge of your spouse.
• It means not having them as your confidants.
• It means no more going to their house for support.
• It means your loyalty and commitment is solely towards your spouse.
• It means not depending on them spiritually.
• Your spouse does not need to compete with your parents for your attention, affection, communication and provision.
• Your spouse now dominates your heart; your parents are now secondary.
• It means to severe emotional umbilical cords.
• It means to physically leave your parent’s house and not live with them again.
• It means you are no more your mummy’s boy or daddy’s girl, but a married man or woman.
• It means you now have to take decisions with your spouse as a couple without involving your parents.
• It means you will not report your spouse to your parents.

SHOULD A WOMAN LEAVE?

Many people wrongly believe that the commandment of God in Genesis 2:24 is solely for men and women are not included. This is very wrong; the both individuals must leave their parents and become one flesh. Understanding Leaving In Marriage

The reason it appears particularly focusing on the man in the scripture is because in most cultures, the woman is expected to join her husband’s family while nothing changes with the man. Since leaving is more than just changing geographical locations, women should also understand that they are not only to leave physically but also in all other ways. See what the Bible says in Psalm 45:10-11: Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father’s house; so shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him. Understanding Leaving In Marriage