5 Things Every Man Wants From Their Wives
5 Things Every Man Wants From Their Wives
It might seem strange to thank our spouse for being faithful… after all, isn’t that what we promise each other in our wedding vows? YES!!! But from what we see in this ministry to marriages, is that it doesn’t seem to make much difference. Over and over and over and over again, from the correspondence we receive and the comments posted on the web site we read of spouses cheating on each other. Why get married if you want to date someone else eventually?
That’s what I’ve thought of repeatedly when a spouse writes and tells us of her or his spouse dating someone else. Many times the ink is barely dry on the wedding certificate & I wonder, WHY? Why make the promise if you have no intention of following through on it, or if, when you are tempted you give into the impulse and cheat on your spouse and on God (because when you make your wedding vow, God is included as one of the “witnesses” of your promise)?
The other day we received an email from a young bride of just 4 months (this is sadly, very common) who was crying because her husband was “seeing someone else.” He was angry with HER that she checked up on him and found out. I just wanted to scream & cry at the same time.
I looked for and found Steve in the other room, hugged & thanked him for not putting me in the place of wondering how to continue on in our marriage, because of cheating. I told him that I know he has had temptation parading in front of his eyes many times by women who don’t care how provocatively they dress. I also acknowledged that there are many women who would give just about anything to have him as their husband. But thankfully, because of his good character he has been faithful to me (and our family & friends who would also be affected if he cheated).
Steve smiled and hugged me when I thanked him, but I could tell it meant a lot to him that I said what I did. Was he expecting it? No. But did it warm his heart that I acknowledged what a great guy he is & how thankful I am to have him as my faithful companion? Absolutely! When we thank each other for little and big things, it’s like giving “care packages” for the heart –SO good to do. Just because we’re married, it doesn’t mean that we should overlook the efforts our spouse makes to go beyond selfism (our carnal inclinations).
Today I asked Steve what it meant to him when I thanked him for his steadfastness in not cheating. He said it meant a lot to him, even though he didn’t expect it (not only does he not want to cheat on me, but he ESPECIALLY doesn’t want to cheat on his vow to God). But he said it’s nice not to be taken for granted and it’s nice that I expressed my thankfulness and love –something, which is always good. As we discussed the issue he said it makes him want to keep being a “good man” and actually want to be a better one. I love and appreciate that.
So please, look at the good things your spouse does; go up to him or her and express your thanks, letting it be known that you notice and you appreciate it. Do you HAVE to? No. But why not go the extra mile in expressing thankfulness? Does it hurt? Does it sometimes make both of you chuckle, yet feel warmer towards each other? I think so… we believe so. It may even inspire your spouse to go the extra mile in doing even more than he or she did before.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” (1 Thess. 5:11) “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…” (Heb. 10:24)
We hope this inspires you to go the extra mile in thanking each other.
By Cindy & Steve Wright
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