GRATEFULNESS VERSUS CRITICISM IN MARRIAGE
-Bisi Adewale
GRATEFULNESS VERSUS CRITICISM IN MARRIAGE
GRATEFULNESS VERSUS CRITICISM IN MARRIAGE-Ungratefulness, to me, is not the opposite word for gratefulness. Criticism is the height of ungratefulness. If you don’t have the habit of being grateful, you are likely going to end up with the spirit of criticism. Criticism is a cancer in the body of any marriage. When criticism is abundant in any marriage, that home will be pathetic. If you don’t learn the habit of gratefulness, you may be making your marriage difficult. I Thessalonians 5:18
When criticism grows, it comes along with contempt. When criticism is mixed with contempt it can easily send any marriage to its grave.GRATEFULNESS VERSUS CRITICISM IN MARRIAGE
Criticism says- “This house is too dirty. I have never seen it clean all my life”.
Criticism plus contempt says– “This house is too dirty. You know what? You are the dirtiest person I have ever met in my life. How I wish I never married you. ”
Gratefulness will say- “Thank you for picking the children from school. They must have kept you busy all day. They even scattered the house. Please make sure things are put in order.”
Criticism says– “I don’t like the way you dress. It is very bad. Did you look in the mirror at all?”
Criticism plus contempt says- “I don’t like the way you dress. You look like a masquerade. You lack dress sense and you are not fashionable at all. Even our house maid dresses better than you. In fact, your mode of dressing reminds me of my great grandmother.
Gratefulness says– “Sweetheart, thank you for the food and for breastfeeding the baby. I feel this blouse does not match this red skirt. Why don’t you wear that new flowered skirt on it? I like seeing you in it.”
In these examples, the difference is clear. The positive air that gratefulness blesses any environment with fosters happiness while the negative air seeping out of criticism and contempt makes it difficult to desire. Every successful marriage is adorned with gratefulness. Any home on the verge of a break down have utilized the C+C (criticism plus contempt). Hear what the scripture says:
“Let your speech be always with GRACE, SEASONED with salt that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man”. Colossians 4:6
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is GOOD to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers”. Ephesians 4:29
WHO YOU MUST APPRECIATE
Everybody around you deserves your appreciation. However, there are two key people you must never fail to appreciate; Your children, friends, parents, etc all deserve your appreciation and commendation. Howbeit, make it your habit to appreciate these two key people persistently more than other people.
- God Almighty. Make it your habit to be a ‘praiser’. Praise Him for everything, thank Him for every breath, appreciate Him in every way. Most importantly, thank Him for the salvation of your soul and for giving you your dear spouse. Anytime you criticize your spouse, you blame God that gave him or her to you. Anytime you condemn him or her, you are telling God He didn’t do a good job. This is why you need to be very careful the way you complain about your spouse. Your spouse is not the worst man or woman in the world. He or she may not be as good as somebody else but is sure better than some other people. 1 Chronicles 16:34
- Your spouse. Be generous with gratitude to your spouse. Appreciate everything; learn to say thank you in different ways. Praise her, hail him, don’t say he is only doing his duty. Appreciate your mate and get the benefit of gratefulness. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of an Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, Website:www.familybooster.com facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter@bisiadewale
