Truths No One Told You About Marriage

Truths No One Told You About Marriage

You paddled in the dating pool for more than a few years and finally find the partner of your dreams.  Despite marriages’ less than 50% success rate, you decide to take the plunge. You’ve got some experience under your belt and keenly aware that marriage isn’t going to be a fairytale and that “happily ever after” is just a cliché. However, from the moment you decide to tie the knot the amount of saccharine-sweet advice and idealistic sunshine blown up your ass may muddle your clarity.Truths No One Told You About Marriage

Here are “The 10 Dirty Realities about Marriage” that no one had the balls to tell you:

1.  For the rest of my life?!?Truths No One Told You About Marriage

Whether it’s from quirks, habits, or total mind-numbing monotony, there’s going to be a moment where you will think;”For the rest of my life!”  The little quirks that used to endear now lead to thoughts of justifiable homicide. Habits that were undiscovered will wear on your nerves while the routine of daily life will bore you to tears. Is this it? Is this, FOREVER? When you embark on your journey you are both bright twinkling stars ready to consume the world in light and brilliance. Fact is life has a way of bitch slapping you back to Earth. Even though the blow comes at you in slow-motion; you’ll never see it coming!  The gutters need cleaning, she refuses to get gas till the truck is running on fumes, and he sleeps with the light on. Little things now become the giant purple elephant in the room!

2. Marriage Takes Work…Occasionally back breaking, head-spinning, ass-kicking work

You can’t get married then set your relationship on auto-pilot. Sharing your life with someone takes sacrifice, compromise and regular inspection to confirm you’re both on the same page. Every relationship requires time and energy to cultivate and keep alive; if you don’t tend your garden…the weeds of complacency and apathy will consume it.Truths No One Told You About Marriage

3. Sex Will Change… not always for the better!

Everyone has heard the horror stories about how the sex lives of married couples are non-existent and yet nearly everyone enters marriage saying, “That will never happen to us.” FACT:  Daily life can “suck” the spontaneity out of your sex. The energy you had while dating will be devoured by career challenges, financial worries and frenzied schedules. You or your spouse may choose to recharge by melting into bed or checking-out on the couch over getting laid. A tough day can turn into a tough week and before you know it you haven’t had sex in almost a month. Many assume that sex must be spontaneous however; if you don’t make a consistent effort to make sex a priority it will disappear! Another little known fact: Sex drives change and can quickly hurl sexual harmony into bedlam.Truths No One Told You About Marriage

4. You WILL NOT always get your way

There will be times you won’t see eye-to-eye. A situation may demand both of you compromise to the point where neither are happy! There may be times when neither will see any compromise. Every marriage has a point where there will be a line drawn in the sand; a non-negotiable where the only roadblock standing between you and what you want is the love of your life!  If you’re used to getting what you want, when you want it, and how you want it; then marriage may be a very cold splash of reality.

5. You Can Only Control You

I know you’re going to wish you could harness the ways of the force multiple times on your martial journey. But since the Jedi mind trick is limited to science fiction, the only power of change you have is over yourself. No matter how simpatico you are as a couple, you will never be able to change or control your partner. The faster you absorb this, the less frustrating marriage will be.Truths No One Told You About Marriage

6. You will fight, sometimes A LOT

Remember the advice book your best friend gave you? The one filled with golden nuggets of wisdom from all of your happily wedded friends and family. I guarantee that more than one well intentioned soul wrote, “Don’t’ go to bed angry” FACT: There will be times you will not only go to bed angry but also  wake-up even more pissed off! There’s a vicious rumor about marriages; a sinister myth that fighting is bad and the sign of a weak relationship. Whoever started this fairy tale must have been delusional.  It’s ludicrous to assume you’re going to spend the next 40-60 years with someone and not fight! I guarantee that fighting is a form of communication that you and your betrothed will practice…passionately and on more than one occasion. Please note that when I say fight, I am not insinuating physical or mental abuse; if either are the case in your relationship I recommend you seek help immediately. The context of fighting in this article is good, ol’ fashioned debating, with zeal!

7. People Change:  Physically and Mentally

Think back to when you were in high school {80’s hair and all}, then flashback to your college years {perfect bod, no responsibilities} and now think of who you are today {career, mortgage payment}. The fundamental components may be there but your priorities, preferences, body shape, and even attitude no longer mirror the person you were 5 or 10 years ago. Lord knows why, but many assume that the person standing next to them at the altar will remain that way…always. As if getting married is a preservative. Laughable! NEWSFLASH: You will both grow older! Your bodies will change. Your hair color will change. Your priorities will change. I’ve heard complaints about how spouses “change the deal” on them. As if their spouse plotted and schemed ways to create drama and discourse in an otherwise nirvana! It’s not changing the deal; it’s personal evolution, and it WILL happen to all of us!

8. Lose That Loving Feeling

I hate to say it but there will be a day when the butterflies will fly away. Somewhere down the road of marital bliss, you’ll look around and the magic, mystery, and fire will only live in memories. Do not assume at this point that you must no longer be in love or that your marriage has died.  In actuality, the only thing that died is the notion that romantic love solely epitomizes marriage. FACT: The Rest of Your Life is a VERY long time and there will be times when you will be better friends than lovers.  However together you can recapture the butterflies and reignite the fire.

9. Fantasize That the Grass Is Greener

Fighting, reduced sex, lost feelings, bills, frustrations, quirks; shit, what was I thinking? When things get rough people tend to delude themselves. I was better off single. I know I would be happier with him/her. FACT: Being single is not all that great and the newest object of your desire has just as many quirks and habits! Marriage can uncover the power of Houdini; where illusion becomes fact. Things will appear to be in doomsday proportion and the desire to escape to greener pasture appears logical and justified. You may get to the point where the pain triggers the flight instinct. Try to remember that the grass may not necessarily be greener, only a different shade of green.

10. Children WILL dominate your life

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage. As hard as the two of you try, that little bundle of joy will forever transform your life as you know it. Even couples who execute Operation Procreate in careful baby-steps find themselves tripping on landmines! Do not assume for an instant that having a baby won’t affect your relationship as husband and wife. It consumes every moment, thought, and energy reserve. FACT: Children are the greatest blessing in life but never underestimate the effect your joyful addition will have on every aspect of your existence.

-By Marrie

SOURCE:http://dirtyinpublic.com/index.php/1043/realities-of-marriage-that-no-one-had-balls-tell/