By Bisi Oludare
Looking at the virtues of a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, we will see that she is an excellent example of what a complete woman is.
“Seest thou a man(woman) diligent in his (her) business? He(she) shall stand before kings; he(she) shall not stand before mean men.” Proverbs 22:29
I believe you know that the “HIM” here is for both men and women? Now everybody wants to stand before Kings and even be the King but yet some women today due to what I see as laziness want to be a full housewife and some men for what mostly is for their selfish reasons, want their wives to just stay at home doing nothing all in the name of to take care of the children which deep inside, it is due to their insecurity.
Let me be candid with you here woman, there is nothing as good as you contributing your own quota to the family. Even if your husband is a millionaire and you have access to everything you want; it will still be a beautiful thing to have something you are doing no matter how small. Probably I should ask you this question; whenever the prayer of God bless the work of man hands is being raised in church, what were you expecting God to bless when you pray that prayer if there is nothing for Him to bless?
If you and your husband agree that you should quit your work because it is taking much of your time, that does not mean you can not be doing buying and selling. It doesn’t have to be something big.
Reality is, you need to train up your children so that you do not regret tomorrow. So it’s a wonderful decision to quit so you have time but it could be foolish if you have nothing doing. You can not afford to leave your children at the mercy of your house help; not with the negative and unheard of things house helps are doing to children these days.
This can also be well discussed between you and your husband because I have seen men who get the work done since their work afford them that luxury, these are wealthy people that I know personally. One of them works for a radio station and his program is normally in the evening which affords him the opportunity to be at home from morning till the wife returns. Because they have agreed before marriage that they don’t want house help, he takes care of the baby. Once the wife comes back from work, he prepares and leaves the house. There is another one that has his office in their compound so he’s in charge of the house till the wife returns.
The problem with some men that have their personal work and will still insist it must be the wife is pure PRIDE. It is not “HER” child(ren) but “OUR” child(ren), so agree together on your child(ren) training. Two cannot work together except they agree so says the holy book.
Now this is the crux of the matter, being a full housewife is a serious work. If you stay committed and dedicated to it, it’s more tiring than even going for a white collar job. So if you have both agreed on you staying to take care of the children, don’t be an Africa Magic Housewife; jumping from Yoruba to Igbo channel. Add value to your husband’s and children’s life. Listen to news, watch documentaries, read books, study the scriptures and pray. Most importantly, always upgrade yourself. Don’t be left behind while your husband is growing, know something about his work and be a polyhister.
To wrap this up, these are my points;
1. It is a beautiful thing for a woman to work because the Proverbs 31 woman you want to be or that you say you are is a workaholic to the extent that nothing was mentioned about her husband’s profession.
2. If you have to quit a job that won’t afford you the opportunity of training up your children, find an alternative-DO BUSINESS
3. You and your husband should discuss like matured adults. If he is the one with a free schedule, he should be humble enough to take it up. As a man don’t allow arrogance to destroy your home. Be considerate Sir. As the wife too, always appreciate him.
4. If your agreement from the onset is for you to be a full housewife, be an exceptional one the type I call “HOME MANAGER” because to manage a home is not a small thing. Believe me, if you are truly doing your work as a full housewife, you won’t have time for frivolous activities because by the time you are done with your daily work you will be so tired to even think of going from house to house gisting. Reality is, it is a handful itself and there wouldn’t have been any job more tiring. Use this opportunity to serve your family judiciously. Equip yourself for it, DO NOT BE AN EDUCATED ILLITERATE!!!
May the Lord direct, lead and guide you aright.
SHALOM
Bisi Oludare has a passion and ministry in the area of family life. She is a graduate of the First Premier Marriage Institute – The College of Marital Success where she obtained a Postgraduate Certificate as a qualified Chartered Counselor. She is a graduate of the School of Disciples and also attended the Word of Faith Bible Institute. She is a graduate of Biochemistry from LAUTECH and also holds a Masters Degree in Pharmacology from UNILAG but called to build homes through the power in the word of God.
E-mail: abbeylily@yahoo.com
Twitter: @bisioludare
Facebook: Bisi Oludare
