THE FATHER-WOUND IN YOUR HUSBAND
— By Pastor Bisi Adewale
He’s a man. He’s strong. He’s your husband. But behind that smile and masculine strength may be a little boy who never truly healed… a boy with a father-wound.
Many wives are married to grown men who are still carrying childhood pain, pain from an absent father, a harsh father, an abusive father, or even a passive one who was physically present but emotionally unavailable.
You see him yelling at the children and you think he’s wicked. But deep down, he may be replaying what was done to him.
You wonder why he doesn’t know how to be emotionally available. But how can he give what he never received?
That man you married might be wounded. Not because he’s weak, but because he was never fathered well.
The father-wound in a man can show up in so many ways:
Fear of failure
Inability to receive correction
Deep insecurity masked with pride
Poor emotional connection
A desperate need for validation
Dear wife, this is not an excuse for his bad behavior, but an invitation to see with new eyes.
Instead of only reacting to his pain, start praying about it.
Instead of attacking his brokenness, show compassion.
Instead of giving up on him, start speaking life into him.
Sometimes, healing doesn’t start in the hospital. It starts at home, with love, patience, and understanding.
And if you’re single, please don’t just marry a handsome face. Ask: Is he healed? Or is he bleeding?
A wounded man can’t lead well, love deeply, or father strongly, until he lets God heal the wound no one else sees.
To the husbands reading this:
It’s okay to admit you’re hurt.
It’s okay to forgive your father.
It’s okay to seek healing.
Your family needs the best version of you, whole, healed, and walking in freedom.
Marriage is not a healing center, but love can be the starting point of restoration.
Let’s build homes where healing flows, not pain multiplies.
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©? Bisi Adewale- Marriage Clinician | Family Builder
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