HOW TO HANDLE NAGGING IN MARRIAGE
Bisi Adewale
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman
Proverbs 21:9, 19
Wchat is nagging?
To nag means to complain, murmur, condemn or criticize continually. It also means to be continually troublesome.
- It is a negative communication style (Eph. 4:29).
- It is a major killer of marriage; and
- It is a toxic communication that can sink any marriage, relationship and family life.
- It is a low level of communication.
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love, but he that repeateth a matter nags and separates very good friends (Proverbs 17:9).
Why people nag?
- Immaturity and ignorance of the right way to communicate.
- People who impatiently want things done in their own way do resort to nagging.
- Nagging comes from a perception that you would not get what you want from the other person except you keep asking.
- It is also a function of perfectionist spirit, the drive behind people who want things done in their own way.
- A shocking truth though, nagging happens when one is prayer less. If you are the prayerful and discipline type, you won’t nag.
Who nags in marriage?
Both men and women nag, but women are more prone to it.
Effects of nagging on marriage
- It generates anger (Proverbs 15:1).
- It hardly yields the result you expect.
- It leads to criticism and condemnation.
- It makes the home difficult for the spouse that is being nagged.
- It breaks friendship (Proverbs 17:9).
- It destroys love and affection.
- It removes romance from marriage as it leads to hatred.
- It encourages moving from one crisis to another.
- God is not glorified in your nagging.
- It can lead to divorce (Proverbs 17:9).
Handling nagging spouse
- Pray for him/her.
- Be patience with him or her.
- Study together about effective communication.
- Sit down to talk about it. Many nagging spouses may not even know that they do it. They always think that it is just a simple request.
- Always address your spouse’s request and communicate this effectively such that if it cannot be done now, you can easily agree on it.
- Let your spouse know how you feel when she nags.
- Let your spouse read this chapter.
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him onfamilybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, Whatsaap 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter @bisiadewale
