ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR MARRIAGE?

0
1072

ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR MARRIAGE?

Bisi Adewale 

If thou prepare thine heart, and stretch out thine hands toward him… (Job 11:13 KJV)

You need to prepare emotionally for marriage, dealing with every emotional issue and developing yourself to become emotionally mature.

Couples in many marriages today try to exist without emotional intimacy. Over time a marriage lacking emotional intimacy will become empty, lifeless, and the husband and wife will gradually drift apart, becoming familiar strangers in their own home. 

Emotional intimacy will only develop if you can deal with negative emotions and develop positive ones.

DEAL WITH THE FOLLOWING

You can’t have these kinds of emotions and be a good marriage partner. Deal with them now:

  • Fear, being terrified by many things
  • Distrust, not being able to trust anybody
  • Defensiveness, getting to admit your mistakes is pretty difficult; you always have something to say to protect yourself
  • Stonewalling, deliberately obstructing or hindering a discussion by refusing to answer a question or cooperate
  • Criticism, sweeping condemnation of a person’s character. This can easily destroy any home.
  • Contempt, an insult sometimes: ‘You are a bitch. You’re stupid; you are daft; an idiot.’ It’s trying to put that person on a lower plane than you. And it negatively affects one’s partner’s emotion
  • Anger, petrol in the presence of fire, you are always high in flame
  • Selfishness, self-conscious, tight-fisted, you are married to yourself and mentality clothe yourself in: I, me, mine…
  • Pride, you are too full of yourself, pompous and cocky
  • Negative mental attitude, appropriating many wrong conceptions of men, women, love, marriage, in-laws and so on
  • Malice, ignoring or even completely refusing to talk to certain people or even greet them
  • Bitterness, sustaining deep-rooted enmity towards many people and things
  • Resentment, bearing grudge against many people 
  • Loneliness, a sense of being isolated even in a crowd
  • Hatred, loathing, feeling disgusted about many people you hate
  • Unforgiving, ever recalling wrong done to you, taking it out on the offender
  • Low self-esteem, feeling downcast often, seeing poor self-image, always looking gloomy, you have a very low estimation of yourself
  • Negative privilege mindset, thinking your spouse is privileged to marry you or even seen him or her as a gold digger whose life will collapse without you. This will end in a very difficult marriage
  • Neutral privilege mindset, seeing your marriage as a 50/50 thing, your spouse gain you gain; this will only generate an average marriage and possibly contract marriage.
  • Pessimism, distrust, doubt, you always see life from the odd side; to you, the cup is half empty, not half-filled
READ ALSO:  Mindset You Must Change Before Marriage

DEVELOP POSITIVE EMOTIONS                                                                          

 There are many positive emotions to develop if you want to build a better family life:

  • Positive privilege mindset, elevating your spouse, feeling you are privileged to marry the person you are about to marry and keep that kind of mind-set all your life
  • Optimism, always be full of hope, seeing the cup as half-filled not half empty
  • Humility, humbling yourself, noting specifically that there is nothing you have that you have not been given
  • Forgiveness, letting go of the offence, releasing the offender in your mind 
  • Joy, creating your joy in Christ, marriage doesn’t manufacture joy; you have to bring it into your home. Don’t wait for your spouse to make you  happy; you may be appointed if you do. It has been established through a 15-year-long study that a person’s happiness level before marriage is the best predictor of happiness after marriage. In other words, marriage won’t automatically make one happy
  • Love: Dwell in love; love God, yourself, and partner; be loving and lovable
READ ALSO:  5 PEOPLE THAT CAN DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE

(C) Bisi Adewale 2020