Relationship

BETTER TO GROW IN LOVE THAN TO FALL IN LOVE

February 14, 2020

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BETTER TO GROW IN LOVE THAN TO FALL IN LOVE

By Bisi Adewale

Many young ones fall into trouble all in the name of falling in love because they don’t know the right way to grow into love. Hence, they destroy their beautiful gifts, lives and destiny in the process

Connect love Himself. You cannot fall into genuine love unless you and your lover is connected to God which is love Himself. Most relationships said to have started with love and end up causing pains themselves because they were not connected to God. If you don’t know God, it will be difficult to know true love; it takes a blood-washed heart to have pure, genuine, unselfish and agape love. You must be genuinely born again to enjoy divine love. Any love you fall into without God will end you up in trouble. I advise you to get a copy of my book: THE MAKING OF A SUPERNATURAL SINGLE for more on this.

Define love rightly. The very first step to go astray in love is to wrongly define love. Most young ones see love simply as a license for sex, or opportunity to have somebody foot their bills. Many views love as ‘strange feelings’, the hot desire to touch the boobs of a lady you admire. Some define it as a whirlwind in the brain, earthquake in the mind and tsunami in the heart while others feel it is a grave mental disease. Love is not ‘a perpetual state of anaesthesia’. “It is not a feeling you feel when you get a feeling that you’ve never felt before”.

Love is not just a feeling, not just an emotion; it is deeper than all these. It is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. Somebody said, “To love somebody is not just a strong feeling, it is a decision, judgment, promise and commitment base on purity. In my book: 32 WAYS TO KNOW TRUE LOVE

I defined love as “An unconditional emotion from the heart mixed with kindness and compassion, which makes one ready to serve the other party or make sacrifices even when it is not convenient”. Feeling great about somebody does not necessarily mean you are in love, it is more than feeling, it is service, it is kindness and sacrificial. Is your partner that kind of person? Can you serve him? Can both of you sacrifice your desires to have sex and wait till your wedding night? If you can’t do these, your love is not genuine. It is based on sex and worldly pleasures that will only cause you pains and agony.

Keep Company with good people. If you walk with bad people, you will fall in love with one of them. Keep positive friendship, and walk with godly people so to grow in love.

Open your Eyes. Don’t allow your emotions to overcome your reasoning think rightly. Open your eyes, avoid dangers, avoid pitfalls, don’t fall in love with your enemy.

Know that love is not by force, it is by choice. Don’t ever allow anybody to stampede you into error. Don’t allow anybody to force you to destroy yourself. Choose to grow in love and with the right person at the right time.

Speak to God. Be prayerful; commit your heart, your thoughts, your decision into the hands of God. Tell the Lord to lead and direct you.

Listen to God. Let the Lord lead you, correct you and guide you. Don’t go into any relationship without Him, lest you run into stormy waters.

Go for Godly counsel. You can never know it all. Let Godly people counsel you. Self-decision may be the mother of self-destruction. Endeavour to acknowledge God and look for godly mentors to lead you rightly.

Be patient. Don’t be in haste; be patient. People are not always the way they first look. Take one step before the other. Don’t “fall in love”, grow into it. “For ye have need of PATIENCE, that after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. For yet a little while and he that shall come will come and will not tarry”. Hebrews 10:36-37

Don’t obey chemistry. Feelings may be deceptive, don’t follow it, don’t obey it. Feelings may not be real. Feelings are not reliable, can even be destructive; don’t base your beautiful life and destiny on it. Take your time to know the truth about the person; don’t base your judgment on how you feel or how you think he is feeling about you. Life is by far deeper than that. Wise up!