3 CONTEMPORARY ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE
3 CONTEMPORARY ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
No other time in history has marriage been under intense attack than our present time. Or, what do you think about the alarming rate of divorce even among the ministers of God who are supposed to be good examples to the people they lead? Besides, many marriages are in crisis and children, becoming delinquent. Beyond that is the rate at which men now abandon their family. It is all times high. And child abuse is now a common thing all over the world. All of this has made marriage the subject of cruel jokes; more so in many civilized societies. There are even quotable quotes that reveal the full extent of wrong thinking and warped mental attitude about marriage and family life. Quotes like “marriage is like wine; it is not properly judge until the second glass” or ” marriage is the only war in which we sleep with the enemy.” And many more like them point to the contemporary challenges facing marriage in our days.
I will be discussing many things that are contemporary enemies of marriage and suggest solutions, so that you may learn how to handle them in your own marriage.
1. “Meism“. One of the most difficult enemies of modern marriage is self-centredness, which I prefer to call “meism“. This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy (2 Timothy 3:1, 2 KJV). There has not been another time this scripture is truer than now. Many people love themselves more than they love God or their spouses. It is always I or me. They self-glorify and -justify themselves always, leaning heavily towards selfishness, which operates at the centre of difficult marriages. They ignore the “we” quality in marriage that affirms togetherness, unity and a common focus giving room to the self-centred, individualistic drive that promotes self. So, today in marriage satisfaction and service are not focused on the other person, on how to please him and make him happy; it is largely about ‘’me’’ and what ‘’I’’ can get from the union. Everybody strives to get marry to the person that can serve them better, not someone they can serve better. The result is, two service hunters coming together in matrimony. And the union is often enveloped in ACRIMONIOUS COMMUNICATION and AGONIZING EXPERIENCES that ridicule MATRIMONY.
Solution: Know that marriage is not just about you; it is more about serving your spouse. So go ahead; serve your partner. You are a giver, a lover; pour water on each other’s hands. IF YOU ARE TOO BIG TO SERVE, YOU ARE TOO SMALL TO BE IN MARRIAGE.
2. Electronic Media. Television and radio give information about events around us. They provide entertainment too. But with the amount of immoral films and music on the television today, many have wondered whether it is a blessing or curse to the institution of marriage. Largely the films provide the wrong entertainment and information about love, relationship, sex and marriage.
Many partners spend about six hours glued to the television daily, having less time to blend and bond with their mates. This destroys intimacy and bonding among couples. They receive wrong information from actors and actresses who are mostly divorcees, adulterers or in turbulent marriages.
Solution: Don’t submit your marriage to television and radio; don’t allow the remote control to control your life and marriage. Watching television should not be every time of the day. Regulate it, go for news and specific programmes and avoid devoting precious time to watching television. Love your marriage more than the “tube”.
3. WRONG MODELS. Again, television, films, and magazines have introduced wrong models to marriage. Many couples pick those they see on television as their life, family and marriage role-models. Whether the person is doing well in his family life is not a point to consider. Most of the so called celebrities are not having it good in their marriages. Many of them are single parents, co-habiting couples or separated from their spouses and neck-deepened in crises and scandals. They have children outside wedlock. If you make people like this your marriage role model, you are likely going to end up like them.
Solution: Choose your role models wisely; make godly couples in good marriages your mentor.
3 CONTEMPORARY ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE
3 CONTEMPORARY ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE
