7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
Many marriages struggle when one or both spouses start to show destructive behaviours. Some of these behaviours are: 7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE 7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE 7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE
- NAGGING: This marriage destroying behaviour manifests itself through constant repetition of words or statement in order to force your spouse to take action favourable to you. Nagging will make the nag weary of you. This will alter your closeness, harm your friendliness and eventually destroy your marriage. Nagging can’t change your spouse; it will only make him detest your presence (Proverbs 27: 15- 16).
- MALICE: Keeping malice means that old hurts, offence are still fresh in your heart. This will not allow forgiveness in your mind but it will lead to vengeance which can break any marriage without notice. Your spouse will offend you but make up your mind to forgive (1 Peter 2: 1- 2). 7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE
- CRITICISM (James 4: 11): Criticism is another devourer of marriage because couples are to speak with one voice and stand as a team. Criticism is an act of giving bad judgment or disapproval about your spouse. This attitude will create ill-feelings and bring you at logger heads with your spouse. Stop criticizing your spouse, correct in love (Ephesians 4: 15).
- VENGEANCE (Romance112: 19). Vengeance connotes retaliation or paying your spouse back for his wrong doing in a bitter way. You must have a large heart that forgives and forget if your marriage must last. 7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE
- BLAME GAME: A Chinese proverb states that “in a marriage conflict; when the husband is wrong, the wife cannot be innocent”. Engaging in a blame game simply means passing the buck to your spouse while you portray yourself as a saint. This is detrimental to your marriage as everyone will stand to defend himself. Don’t trade blame but take responsibility for your errors (Mathew 7:3). 7 DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS IN MARRIAGE
- STINGINESS: Giving is a demonstration of love; you can’t show love without giving. Stinginess is a sign that you value your money more than your spouse. Stinginess will affect your love life negatively because it may displace you from the heart of your spouse. Remember, ‘’the gift of man maketh room for him’’. Be a giver and you will book a permanent slot in the heart of your spouse (Romance 8: 22).
- REPORTING: There will always be misunderstanding between couples but how they handle it matters. In the event of misunderstanding or disagreement, reporting your spouse to your parents, colleagues, friends or neighbours is an attitude that can destroy any marriage any day. These people are third parties. They will take sides and handle it in a way that will aggravate your problems. It is childish to report. Seek counsel from your Pastor or a qualified marriage counselor (Proverbs 11: 14).
