7 ACCESS POINTS OF ISSUES IN MARRIAGE THAT COUPLES COULD INITIALLY SEE AS HARMLESS
Couples need to pay attention to some subtle angles and entry points that may seem harmless initially but have tendencies of bringing their marriage to a devastating state and could harm the union gravely.
Enemies of marriage may not need too many entry points. Only one entry point is enough to be taken advantage of by enemies. As they gain entry, they begin to eat the fabric of peace and strength of couples. Before you know it, the relationship may end in a sorry state if situations are not arrested immediately.
But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way. (Matthew 13:25 KJV)
Let’s check out some access points:
1. Weariness and Weakness in Prayer and Spiritual Activities: Your marriage needs prayers. Also, your spouse, children, everybody and everything around your home need your powerful intercession. The moment you become weak in the place of prayers, you will create a loophole through which enemies can strike. You feel comfortable doing other things including the house chores, watching TV, gisting etc., but you are wearied when it’s time to pray and engage in spiritual activities because you have completely lost interest and the zeal. It’s time to wake up. Don’t permit the further access of strange powers and challenges to obstruct the peace of your home.
2. A Derailed Heart: When the heart of a partner is derailed, he/she begins to depart from the union gradually. When you permit negative thoughts that affect your love and commitment, there is potential harm in the long run. When the space created for God and your spouse in your heart is now occupied by someone or something else, if you get carried away without a balance or without checkmating yourself, before you know it, you will be longing after the person excessively (maybe a friend, your ex, colleague, sibling, etc) or that thing (maybe your job, phone, TV, social media, etc). When your heart is no more in that marriage, things can never be the same. Watch it. If you don’t reconnect with your spouse, that may be the beginning of emotional infidelity (adultery of the heart) and can pull down the union.
3. Carelessness: This could be a strong entry point of issues in your marriage. Some spouses may suddenly become the opposite of who they were or should be due to carelessness. Initially, it may not be a conscious attitude, but its continuity is dangerous and will soon reflect in every department of your marriage.
You suddenly become careless with your spouse, home, your children, responsibility, dressing, cooking, talking, you remove courtesy and withdraw respect from your spouse.
You now keep mute about your family vision and project, you find it difficult to relate with your spouse, you make decisions both major and minor without input and involvement of your spouse. You are now careless about upholding your family values and anybody can now intrude into your privacy or enter into your bedroom, etc. If you don’t address this angle, grievous issues are imminent.
4. Excessive Focus on Yourself Only: When you are consciously or unconsciously diverting attention on yourself only and shifting focus from your spouse and family, you don’t care about the total wellbeing of your spouse, marriage and children anymore. The focus is only on your life, your plans, career, business, ministry, your immediate needs and concerns. Everything revolves around you, and you wouldn’t support any decision and discussion that does not meet up with your selfish desire. You now run a self-centred agenda. Sooner than you think, your spouse will begin to feel being used and your harmony will be impaired. Please review this angle and fix it quickly.
5. Denial, Excuses and Rigidity in Lovemaking and Romance: Getting things right in the bedroom and demonstrating love is non-negotiable for a growing and working marriage. Unfortunately, we have couples who are not sensitive to this aspect of their homes, thereby, opening the door for infidelity and side chicks. Though that shouldn’t be an excuse for such behaviours, some partners contribute to it and agree with the devil to capture their lives through unsatisfactory performance and attitude in the bedroom. When there is a crack, anything can happen and any stranger can penetrate. Constant and continuous denial and lack of variety, improvement and excitement in the area of lovemaking and romance will tear off intimacy between husband and wife. Couples must guard this angle well in their marriages. They must strengthen it and strive to improve and satisfy each other in a godly way.
6. Permission to Distractions: We have instances where huge distractions would set in with the direct or indirect permission of couples involved in a marriage. It could be excessive attention to some activities like job, business, social media/life, screen TV or laptop, tab, phone etc, to the detriment of your home. You permit people or things that have no value to add to your life and family. You give them access to stay and they are not ready to leave again. When you try to detach, it becomes difficult for you because you have gone far with them. It is very easy to develop bad habits and migrate to becoming an odd/unpleasant person. To reverse the situation is usually tasking and it requires a lot of effort and discipline.
7. Insensitivity to your Relationship’s Priorities: When there is a misplaced priority, there is the tendency for openings. Enemies will take advantage of this to bring into the family, unwanted and unexpected cases that will shake the couple and affect their peace and harmony. Couples become insensitive to each other’s need, joint needs, children’s need, major needs of the family like effective communication, need for forgiveness, the building and nurturing of friendship, bonding and strengthening intimacy, working out financial harmony and agreement, etc. which have direct implications on family unity and progress.
Many times, the gap is created gradually and it widens when couples do nothing about closing it up immediately. For some couples, the situation gets worse because it has become a serious matter before knowing how degenerated and deteriorated the relationship has become.
Suddenly, couples just realize that they are drowning in the flood of issues and they begin to wonder how the unpleasant status, unbearable state of things and negative situations have built up over time.
May the Lord open your eyes to the level your marriage is right now and may you know what to do, to repair and restore immediately in Jesus name, Amen
Thanks for reading and sharing
? Yomi Adewale
Family Booster Ministry
