WRONG QUARRELING HABITS IN MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
Many people have a dangerous habit they use when they quarrel. This is not good for marriage and family life.
Check if you do the following below, then you are not doing your marriage any good and unknown to you, you about to shipwreck your marriage.
- Diary fight: This is keeping a record of faults for future reference. This is very wrong.
- Open brawl: If you hit each other openly, it only shows you are foolish and babyish, not grown adults. If you make the mistake of slapping your spouse once, it will take the grace of God not to do it again. If you are born again, your hands should be ‘’born again’’ too. Only a beast hits his wife; only an ignorant woman abuses her husband.
- Keeping malice. Refusing to talk to each other is another wrong way to fight because no matter how long you keep malice if you must settle it, you will still have to talk. Why can’t you talk now? Settle the problem and put the devil to shame.
- Silence treatment: This is keeping silent, saying “silence is the best answer to a fool”, thereby making your spouse to be angrier. It is better to talk calmly, meekly and lovingly than to give way to “golden less silence”.
- Taking vengeance is another childish way of quarreling.
- Walking out on your spouse during a quarrel is wrong.
- Shouting for everybody to hear.
- Reporting to people around.
- Saying everything in your mind, not minding if it hurts.
- Revealing the secrets of your spouse.
- Referring to old or past issues.
- Moving to another room to sleep.
- Denying your partner sex.
- Refusing to cook for the family.
- Breaking of togetherness, no longer eating together.
- Singing annoying songs.
- Writing letters (notes) as a means of communication with your spouse.
- Scapegoat (transferred aggression). What is called scapegoat in marriage counseling is a situation whereby an angry person directs his anger towards somebody that has not offended him just because he is angry. For example, a woman may hit her children just because her husband is fighting her, or a man, his wife because he is annoyed with his boss.
- Destroying household property.
- Night-crawling.
Watch it, these habits mentioned here do not glorify God, you and even your marriage.
© Bisi Adewale 2020
