YOUR THOUGHTS, THE DETERMINANT OF YOUR MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
Your thoughts affect the health of your marriage. If you think right, you will get it right. Nobody can grow higher than his/her thoughts.
The following are the concepts available in marriages worldwide:
- Error Partnership Thinking. This will definitely lead to battlefield marriage. It involves those kinds of thinking about our marriage and partner.
– “I married wrongly, I shouldn’t have married this man or woman”
– “You are wicked”.
– “This marriage is a mistake.”
– “You are a minus in my life.”
– “This marriage cannot work”.
– “You are a witch”.
– “My partner is unfaithful.”
– “How I wish I had married that other person”
– “The husband/wife of so so and so is better than mine”.
– “The husband/wife of so so and so is more beautiful or handsome than mine”.
– “My spouse does not love me”.
– “I cannot forgive him/her.”
– “It is fire for fire”.
- Cheating Partnership Thinking. This kind of thinking will also end on a battlefield or poor marriage. It involves the following thoughts:
– “I am doing more than I am receiving in this marriage.”
– “My spouse is not giving me enough attention”.
– “My husband is not showing me enough love”.
– “My wife is not giving me enough respect.”
– “My husband is not providing enough for me.”
– “How I wish I had married somebody who appreciates me more”.
– “My spouse is cheating on me.”
– “All she knows is money, she is good for nothing.”
- Negative Privilege Thinking. Thiswill lead to a poor marriage and make marriage difficult. It involves the following thoughts about their spouse:
– “You are privileged to have married me”.
“If not for me, there wouldn’t have been you”.
“I am doing more for you”.
“I made you”.
“If not for me in your life.”
“I took you from nobody and made you somebody.”
“You owe me a lot.”
“You should be thanking me forever”.
These kinds of thought will lead to pride and push us to make unreasonable demands on our spouses thereby making marriage difficult.
- Equal Privilege Thinking. This will only lead to a good marriage. It is behind the concept of 50/50 marriage, middle way matrimony or trade by barter homes. It involves the following thought:
– “I am privileged to marry you, but you are privilege to marry me”.
– “We are privilege to marry each other”.
– “I made you, you made me”.
– “We are both gaining from each other”.
This kind of thought may not affect your marriage initially, but at a stage, you will be looking out to be served by your partner before you do the same, thereby making it a marriage pushed by reciprocity. If the partner is not able to serve or provide it quickly it generates anger and misunderstandings. That is the major reason many marriages have problems when one of the partners loses his/her job or is unable to work.
- Positive Privilege Thinking. This will lead to a great marriage, it involves the following thoughts:
– “Thank God I married you”
– “You are a gift from God to me.”
– “I’m privileged to be married you.”
– “What can I do without you.”
– “You are a plus in my life.”
– “I am gaining more in this marriage.”
– “Am enjoying myself in this marriage.”
– “My husband loves me.”
– “My wife respects and honour me.”
– “Thank you for marrying me.”
– “If not for you in my life.”
– “Thank you for everything.”
– “I married the right man and woman.”
One wise man said, “Every thought is a seed, if you plant crab apples you think on harvesting golden delicious. Take good care of your thoughts, your thought will take good care of your marriage and destiny.
God bless you
© Bisi Adewale 2020
