11 CHARACTERS THAT DESTROY MARRIAGE

11 CHARACTERS THAT DESTROY MARRIAGE

By Bisi Adewale

Character is marriage, marriage is character. Character is the lifeblood of a successful marriage. Behind every bad marriage is a bad character. However, bad character can destroy any marriage if left unchecked. Check these bad characters and be prepared to delete anyone that appears in your life.

1. “A haughty look, a proud heart, And the plowing of the wicked are sin”. (Proverbs 21:4). Any man or woman who wants to have a blissful marriage must have conquered pride. Pride is a marriage killer because no man will like to marry a woman with a proud disposition. A proud woman will not submit to her husband. This negative feeling is what will make you feel that you aremore important than your spouse and u look down on your spouse. Pride is the reason some husband or wife give their spouse shabby treatment.

2. Anger is a major destroyer of marriage. In fact, no marriage can end in divorce except someone is angry. Anger is a strong feeling of wanting to harm, hurt or criticize someone because they have done something unfair, cruel, offensive or because you think that a situation is unfair and unacceptable to you. Whosoever harbor anger in marriage will be difficult to live with because he or she will demonstrate anger at the slightest provocation. Constant and excessive demonstration of anger will make you repulsive to your spouse thereby causing friction between you and your spouse. It’s quite unfortunate that many people with this negative character don’t see it as a problem. Until you see it as a problem and work on it, you cannot be free from it. Anger is a short madness. Anger is destructive in nature and when anger is in charge, it can break any marriage no matter how strong it is.

3. To be lazy means to dislike work and physical activity, and never making any effort. No man will love a lay wife, likewise no woman will like a lazy husband. A lazy wife will leave the house dirty and she is likely to be a fulltime housewife because she has deep hatred for work. Since she cannot work with her hands, she will be a liability to her husband. Because no man wants a liability for a wife, she will be shown a way out of her matrimonial home. A lazy husband will turn his wife to a housemaid because he will not give her a helping hand in doing house chores. A lazy man will find it difficult to put food on the table for his wife and children. He lacks the ability to shoulder responsibility. It is his wife that will be feeding him. He will definitely lose his respect before his wife and children.

4. Cleanliness is next to godliness; attractiveness is next to loveliness. You can’t be attracted to your spouse if you are dirty. Dirtiness is the twin brother of laziness. A dirty fellow will go out on unclean clothes and leave unpleasant house which is full of dirty unwashed plates, dirty clothes, unflushed toilets, body odour, etc. In fact, the children of dirty woman will look dirty and unattractive. There’s no husband that will like to be with a dirty wife. Please, change your dirty attitude, lest you lose your husband to neater women out there.

5. Stubbornness is great cankerworms that can make a marriage fail anytime any day, if it is not checked. Stubbornness is a determination not to change your mind, even when you know that you are unreasonable. To have a blissful marriage, you must not be rigid. Rather you must be flexible so as to reason along with your spouse and agree with him or her and be ready to be lead or influenced. Stubbornness will turn you to sworn-enemies of your spouse when you are supposed to be best of friends. A stubborn husband will fall into so many errors in life while a stubborn wife will get ‘beating’ maltreatment from her husband.

6. Money is one of the major destroyers of marriage and one big factors of money issue, in marriage is extravagancy. Extravagant spending entails buying things you don’t need, going for the latest items when the one you are having is in good order. Also buying things to show off, to impress others, engaging in environmental purchases, spending tomorrow’s money today amount to extravagance. Extravagant attitude will put your old age and the destiny of your children in jeopardy. Be prudent, plan and save for tomorrow.

7. The opposite of hatred is love. It takes love for two people to live together as husband and wife. While hatred is the chief murder of love. Hatred is an angry feeling if extreme dislike for someone. There is a limit to how long you can live with someone you hate. Wage war against hatred now before it destroys your marriage.

8. To stay long and forever in marriage, trust must be in place; but nobody trust a liar and where there is no trust, there’s no love. Lying is about saying something that is not true. This habit will continue to give negative impression about you unless you stop. Speak the truth always no matter what it will cost you.

9. Night crawling. When one of the parties involved in a marriage is an habitual night crawler, he or she will make the other party live in loneliness. Night crawling habits destroys intimacy in marriage, through distrust, and once intimacy is destroyed, the marriage is not safe.

10. Abusive words. Abusive words like “you are idiots”, “you are mad”, “you are a fool”, “good for nothing”, etc are piercing words that can nullify your love in the heart of your spouse and thereby push you out for your matrimonial home. Do not permit your mouth to destroy your marriage. Deal with your abusive attitude now.

11. Unforgiveness is one of the major causes of divorce in marriage because it is impossible to divorce your spouse without harbouring bitterness against him or her. If our heavenly father can forgive all your sins, then you should also forgive your spouse’s offences. Your spouse cannot do without offending each other. But you must be ready to forgive always.

© Bisi Adewale 2020