MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN A LOVE AFFAIR

MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN A LOVE AFFAIR

By Bisi Adewale

Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. (Ecclesiastes 7:8)

Marriage is not just a love affair; it is deeper than that, it is a commitment.

 A lifetime decision to love, care, kind and to have sex with only one person, no matter what happens for the rest of your life.

 The vow you made on the day of your wedding is the beginning of many other vows and commitment you need to make. Note that the wedding certificate you were given is not a driver’s license; it is a learner’s permit. That means, you still have a lot to do, to learn, and a lot of commitments to make. 

It will do your family a lot of favours if each person in that marriage can make this commitment individually and as a couple:

 Commitment 1:

I (we) will make God the head of this marriage. Whatever is not found in this book (Bible) I (we) will not do.

 Commitment 2:

I (we) will (shall) be a positive partner(s) in this marriage. I (we) will do everything possible to make this marriage succeed.

 

 Commitment 3:

I (we) will never use the word ‘DIVORCE’ in this marriage. I (we) will never think of it, talk of it, or use it as a threat. I (we) would rather affirm my (our) love no matter what happens.

 Commitment 4:

I (we) will be committed to my (our) marriage vows. I (we) will never have sex with another man or woman as long as my husband or wife lives. I (we) will get every sex l (we) desire from my wife or husband.

 Commitment 5:

I (we) will be committed to romance and good sex-life in my (our) marriage.

 Wife- I will not deny my husband sex. I will get involved in sex only in my marriage and make sex interesting for my husband. I will even invite him for sex once in a while and eagerly allow him to have sex with me without fighting.

 Husband- I will support my wife in household chores and babysitting, so as to show that I am a great husband. I will be skilful in the bedroom, I will make sure my wife really enjoys sex by going for long foreplay 

 Commitment 6: 

I will never refer to old issues; as soon as we discuss it, I will never mention it again.

 Commitment 7: 

I (we) will not go to bed with an offence in my mind and will not keep a record of offences. The sun will not set on my (our) grudge.

 Commitment 8: 

I will love my spouse no matter what happens.

 

 Commitment 9:  

I will always say positive things to my spouse.

 I will always say “I love you”, “you are the best”, “you are beautiful”, “you are handsome” and so on

 Commitment 10: 

I will praise, appreciate and commend my wife or husband at least once in a day.

 Commitment 11:

I (we) will allow God to use me (us) for the betterment of my (our) marriage.

 Commitment 12:

I will always honour and respect my wife or husband. I will never disrespect or embarrass him or her, especially in the public.

 Commitment 13:

I (we) will never report my wife or husband to friends, family members and neighbours.

 If I (we) need help at all, I (we) will talk to my (our) Pastor or Christian Marriage Counsellor who will be unbiased and give counsel based on biblical principles to help me (us) build a better and stronger marriage.

 Commitment 14:

 I (we) will be committed to change any bad character, manners, or habit, that is detrimental to my (our) marriage.

 Things like anger, stinginess, lies, laziness, perfectionist tendency, malice, nagging, selfishness, shall be dealt with.

 Commitment 15:

I (we) will make my husband/wife my priority. My spouse will be number one in my life after God. I will direct all my attention and affection towards him or her. I will invest time, money and everything into my (our) marriage.

 Commitment 16:

 I (we) will forgive and reconcile with my spouse, no matter how hurt I am.

 Commitment 17:

I (we) will apologise and say ‘I am sorry’ to my wife or husband when I wrong him or her.

 Commitment 18:

 I will cross to the land of marriage and break the bridge behind me; no looking back, no turning back, no divorce.

 Commitment 19:

 I will be open to my mate and will not keep any secret from my spouse.

 Commitment 20:

I (we) will provide for my (our) family.

 Commitment 21:

I (we) will be committed to positive communication in my (our) marriage.

 Say these to each other three times, let the husband do it first then the wife. Thereafter, both of you should hold the book and say it together three times, embrace, kiss each other and pray together as you hold each other. Re-affirm your love to each other and give glory to God for bringing you together.

 Making commitments and standing by it is the hallmark of a great man and virtuous woman.

 Defend your commitment, stand by your vow; it will keep your home stabilized, and make you live a great life. Your commitment will commit God to your life and family, your commitment will bring peace, expand love in your marriage and establish your home. No marriage can survive without the commitment of the parties involved. No home can move forward except partners decide to be committed to God, their marriage vows and themselves. There is no greater damage that can be done to a marriage than to fail to be committed to it.

 Do not take marriage as an ordinary duty or a love affair without commitment. I think you will agree with me that marriage is a love affair with a deep heartfelt commitment to each other.

God bless you

 © Bisi Adewale 2020