4 HIDDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE SUCCESS
By Bisi Adewale
4 HIDDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE SUCCESS
To have an excellent marriage you must understand four hidden secrets. Failure to handle them well may lead to difficult and problematic marriage.4 HIDDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE SUCCESS
CHOICE MAKING (CM)
Making a marital choice is very important in the life of any single. If it is not well done, a marriage may become a difficult task. That is why the Bible says:
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3 KJV)
Experts say choice making in marriage determines the success of the union up to 20 per cent. When rightly or wrongly done or wisely or foolishly handled, the results are evident in marriage.
Wrong way to choose
Choice making can be wrongly or foolishly done if it is based on the following:
Money
Riches
Beauty
Position
Sex
Selection
Election (Popular Opinion) etc.
Right way to choose
Patience
Prayer
Divine direction
Genuine love
Checking of the character of the person
Wisdom of God
Counsel
Pure courtship
Honorable wedding
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE (PM)
So Jotham became mighty, because he prepared his ways before the Lord his God (2 Chronicles 27:6 KJV)
The way you prepare for marriage will definitely affect the results you will have. If you are well prepared, it will be well with you in marriage. Marriage is not an instant noodles; it must be well prepared. Even if you desire to marry quickly you must make haste slowly.
If you fail to prepare for marriage, you will have many things to repair in your family life. While choice making covers 20 per cent of your marital success, experts say preparing for marriage takes 30 percent. Choosing rightly is not enough; you must prepare adequately for marriage.
So before you get married, you have the privilege to determine 50 per cent of what your marriage will look like. The ball is in your court – you are to determine the destiny of your marriage and family life.
How to prepare for marriage
In our book titled Preparing for Marriage, I explained ten practical ways to prepare for marriage. Here I will list them. Kindly get the book for comprehensive teachings about marriage preparation.
- Read at least fifteen books on marriage
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning (Proverbs 9:9 KJV) - Read at least five books on parenting
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it (Proverbs 9:12 KJV) - Pray aggressively: Pray seriously; pray aggressively and continuously.
- Communicate deeply with your spouse-to-be: Talk, talk and talk. Talk WWW, that is talk Whenever, Whatever and Wherever. Ask questions; answer questions.
- Get an apartment: You can’t get marry in a family house (Genesis 30:30 KJV)
- Put necessary household materials in the apartment (Genesis 24:31 KJV)
- Attend quality marriage programmes: The Church where you worship may not give you enough of what you need to succeed in marriage. Go and learn in the right places.
- Have a marriage mentor: Have people with testimonies you and your partner may learn from.
- Attend pre-marital training class: Attend trainings organize by your Church specially for intending couples.
- Attend college of marital success (Proverbs 4:7 KJV). (Get a copy of our book Preparing for Marriage for more on this)
MANAGE MARRIAGE (MM)
Managing your marriage is very important. Experts say this determines 50 per cent of your marital success. Choosing rightly is not enough, preparation is not the last but stop, you must go ahead to manage your life, home, job and spouse to ensure a great marital life.
What to manage in marriage
- Manage your emotion rightly: Manage anger, fear, pride, low self-esteem, insecurity, loneliness, guilt, distrust and so on. If you fail to deal with your emotion, it will deal with your marriage (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
- Manage communication: Learn how to talk, where to talk and when to keep your mouth shut. Communication is the soul of all human relationship.
- Manage your character: Deal with your character lest it deals with your marriage.
- Manage your time: Be a time manager, because in marriage your time is no more solely yours. Your spouse and children need it too. Manage your time.
- Manage your lifestyle: Operate a responsible life style that supports a married life – no more night crawling, drinking and such ways that mark care free men.
- Manage money rightly in your marriage lest it becomes a tool in the hands of the devil to destroy your home.
- Learn how to manage in-laws well. Don’t turn your marriage to a battle field with them.
- Manage your relationship with opposite sex. You are not permitted to be closer to any opposite sex more than your spouse.
- Manage your relationship with your siblings. Don’t allow them to destroy your marriage.
- Manage your job to have work/life/family balance. All work and no family make a future a bleak one.
- Manage your spouse’s temperament, personality, likes, dislikes,
weaknesses and strength. - Manage children rightly. Be a great father/mother. Develop parenting skills that will make you to train and raise your children rightly.
- Get more from my book:PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
GOD’S MERCY
Choosing according to the wisdom of God is good, preparing very well is commendable and maintaining marriage wisely is needful, but all of them together are not enough to guarantee a successful family life without grace, mercy and favour of God.
It is the mercy and favour of God that leads one into a great marriage not his expertise, beauty or toasting ability of a man.
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
If you score 100 per cent in choice making, preparation and maintenance, the marriage can still go wrong if you’ve not been able to secure the grace of God that releases His mercy in your marriage, because homes and thrones can only be established in mercy.
And in mercy shall the throne be established: and he shall sit upon it in truth in the tabernacle of David, judging, and seeking judgment, and hasting righteousness (Isaiah 16:5 KJV)
Go ahead, secure the mercy of God for your home and establish it forever.
For more on this, get a copy of my book: Enjoying God’s mercy in Your Family.4
Pastor Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 70 other books on marriage and family life. You can reach him on familybooster@gmail.com, 08068312004, 08051512823, BB: 2AF5C883, Blog: www.bisiadewale.com, Website:www.familybooster.com facebook.com/PastorBisiAdewale.Twitter@bisiadewale
HIDDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE SUCCESS
