Relationship

WHAT REAL LOVE IS NOT

January 21, 2020

1332

WHAT REAL LOVE IS NOT

By Bisi Adewale

We have many pseudo types of love. They are not love but most people think they are. Millions of people base their marital choices on them as a result of this; they are gnashing their teeth today because of this error. So, come along with me as I show you what love is not.

NOT ROMANCE:Romance is simply an existing and often short relationship between two people who think they are in love. It is also known as the feeling of being in love. It is not real love; it is a feeling without substance which leaves the people involved hurt and stranded most of the time.

NOT INFATUATION: Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by an attraction to someone or something. It is an “emotional high” state of being “carried away”, “thrown off balance” by the outlook, voice, dresses, hair, perfume, etc of somebody. This is not real, this is not love, it does not last long but its bitterness can last for a lifetime.

NOT LUST:Genuine love is not lust. Lust is a burning, passionate and overpowering desire to satisfy one’s sexual appetite. It is about sex, not about love. It involves the desire to touch the lady, hug her, fondle her and sleep with her. It often looks like love but the truth about it is that it gets revealed after the ‘highs’ that sex brings. It is not committed; it is fleshy desire, produces bitterness, guilt, sorrow, fear, death and destroys fellowship with God.

NOT CLOSENESS:True love is not just about closeness. That you are close to somebody may make you fond of each other but that is not love.

NOT LIKENESS:It is not just about liking somebody, you may like somebody without being ready to serve the person or make sacrifices. Love is about service, kindness and sacrifice, the likeness is not love, love is deeper than that.

NOT SEX: Sex is not love, love is not sex. That you enjoy pre-marital sex together does not mean you are in love. Sex is “biology”, true love is about God.

NOT ‘ME’ CENTERED:True love is not about ‘I’, ‘Me’, ‘Mine’ and ‘Myself’, it is not selfish, not self-profiting, self-glorification, self-focused and self-centredness. It is about service, it is partner-focused, giving not receiving.

NOT TRADE BY BARTER:It is not ‘give and take’ or ‘give-me-I-give-you’. It is about giving even if the other party has nothing to give for now.

NOT ABOUT MONEY: It is very common to hear, “No finance, no romance”, but the truth is, true love is not based on whether there is money or not, it is ready to love even when the bill is high and the account is red.