NEVER ALLOW CANOPY MINISTRY OVER YOUR HEAD AS A SINGLE LADY
Bisi Adewale
Chinwe and Sam were course mates and fellowship members at university. They were very close, always doing things together daily. Chinwe misinterpreted this to be a relationship. Sam, on the other hand, enjoyed the friendship and was prepared to do anything for Chinwe who did not hesitate to expose her past and future to Sam. But she never observed that Sam never told her about his own life.
All the brothers that desired to marry Chinwe thought she was already engaged to Sam. After schooling, they were both posted to the north for the National Youths Service Corps (NYSC). That enabled them to exchange regular visits.
After service, they returned to Lagos and got good employments. Six months later, Sam sent his wedding card to Chinwe. She was so affected that it landed her in a hospital. When Sam was queried, he said he never thought of marrying her, because he was already engaged before meeting her. He concluded that he only saw her like his younger sister and nothing more.
When Chinwe was confronted with the fact that Sam never proposed marriage to her, she was dazed. It was then she realized her foolishness.
This is very common among singles. They make assumptions about relationship most of the times, thereby setting up themselves for great disappointment. While you assume, partners who might be interested in you assume too that you are engaged. Meanwhile, you hope the brother is taking his time; he will propose soonest, you think. The brother too thinks the sister is all his; he will propose at the appropriate time. This is known as canopy ministry.
What to do when you see them around;
- As a lady, define all your relationships. When a brother is becoming too close without disclosing his intentions, ask him what he wants from you.
- Don’t become too close to any brother so much to make people think you are engaged.
- Never allow a brother to propose with proverbs or idioms to you. Pretend as if you don’t know what he is saying until he comes straight. For example, if he says, “Let me be the umbrella on your head.” Tell him, “I am not in the sun, and I do not need an umbrella.”
- Avoid cooking for brothers unnecessarily. Most brothers love food and will do anything to keep the source of their good food, even if it means pretending they are in love.
- Do not help a brother by proposing to him. Any brother that is not bold enough to propose to you is not old enough to be your husband. Brothers should be bold to propose simply, concisely and directly without proverbs or idioms.
- Get a direct “yes” or “no” to your proposal from a lady; do not assume
© Bisi Adewale 2020
