I Love You, But I Don’t Like You Anymore

Let’s be real for a moment…

Many couples won’t say this out loud, but they feel it deep inside:

“I love my spouse, but I don’t like them anymore.”

Yes, love may still be there, rooted in commitment, vows, shared memories, and the children you raise together. But liking? That warmth, that friendship, that enjoyment of each other’s presence? Sometimes, it fades.

And for singles reading this, don’t scroll away. Because what you’re about to read can save you from building a marriage on fantasy instead of reality.

So What Does It Mean to Love Someone but Not Like Them?

It means:

You care, but you avoid them.

You stay, but you don’t enjoy.

You fulfill duties, but the joy is missing.

You sleep in the same house, but feel like strangers.

This happens when:

Words have turned harsh.

Respect has vanished.

Little things keep piling up.

Intentional friendship is lost.

And here’s the truth that many don’t talk about:

Love is a choice. But liking someone is a result of connection.

You may stay committed out of love, but you no longer feel safe, seen, or supported. That’s why many people say, “I’m in this marriage, but I’m lonely.”

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

Unresolved Conflicts:

Small fights swept under the rug can become emotional distance.

Neglected Friendship:

Marriage is first a friendship. When you stop laughing together, playing together, talking deeply, or doing fun things, liking dies.

Character Clashes:

When selfishness replaces kindness, and ego replaces humility, the person becomes unlikable even if they’re still loved.

Lack of Personal Growth:

You can’t remain attractive emotionally if you refuse to grow. A stagnant spirit becomes a burden in marriage.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If this speaks to you, don’t lose hope. The fact that you still love means there’s a foundation to build on.

Here are some steps to revive the “like” in your love:

1. Become Best Friends Again

Don’t just be parents, roommates, or co-workers in the same house.

Go back to being friends. Laugh. Flirt. Tease. Talk. Share secrets again.

2. Apologize and Forgive

Sometimes, all that’s needed is a genuine, heartfelt “I’m sorry” and the courage to say, “I forgive you.” Let go of the emotional poison of past hurts.

3. Date Each Other Again

Intentionally create beautiful moments. Go out. Eat together. Dance in the kitchen. Walk and talk. You can’t rekindle like in silence and routine.

4. Speak Life, Not Death

The Bible says “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Stop attacking your spouse with words. Speak words that heal, that affirm, that appreciate.

5. Work on Yourself

A better you makes a better marriage. Be someone who is easy to love and easy to like. Let the fruit of the Spirit show in how you treat others, especially your spouse.

FOR SINGLES:

Don’t just look for someone to fall in love with.

Look for someone you can do life with. Someone you like, laugh with, respect, and enjoy.

Because after the butterflies fly away, liking each other is what keeps the love alive.

Dear husband, dear wife

Don’t settle for a cold, distant marriage. God didn’t design marriage to be endured like a prison; He designed it to be enjoyed like a garden.

Let the Holy Spirit heal what is broken. Let humility soften what has hardened. Let friendship rekindle what is dying.

Love is powerful. But when love and like walk together, that’s when marriage becomes a beautiful adventure again.

You may love your spouse, but do you like them?

Don’t just read, share this with someone who needs to hear it. It could save a marriage.

Bisi Adewale

Marriage Clinician