HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Fight FOR your marriage, rather than fighting against it. That’s what we’ve told a lot of couples over the years. It’s something we’ve done and continue to do in our own marriage. One of the ways we do this is by attending marriage events. This past week we attended the marriage event “Love Worth Fighting For” with Kirk Cameron. (You may remember him from the movie, “Fireproof.”) We’re going to share a few of the things Kirk shared with us. I’ll be summing up a lot of info into just a few of the things he said. But here’s a brief synopsis we pray will minister to you.HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Kirk brought out the point: “Marriage is a school where you learn to die to yourself.” It’s based on Matthew 16:24-25 where we’re told to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus. This is even more important within marriage (a living picture of Christ’s love for the church). It’s been said that the one divorce that truly IS needed, is getting a divorce from our own selfish selves.HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Kirk also challenged husbands and wives to look at our wedding ring as a continual visual reminder. “Your wedding ring is a symbol that you signed up to serve your spouse.” We’re told to “serve one another” throughout the Bible. Why not let your wedding ring remind you to serve your spouse, rather than looking to be served?HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Another point Kirk made was based on Jeremiah 17:9. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” He said, “That’s why you don’t ‘follow your heart’ as the movie industry and the world tells us. It’s desperately deceitful and desperately wicked.” … “The only solution to the problems we see in marriage is genuine conversion to the Creator of the Universe within the heart.” … “You can learn all of the marriage advice in the world, but if you don’t make a supernatural turn, and change in your heart, none of it will work. When you start with God, things will change. The first step in helping a marriage is getting right with God.”
Additionally, Kirk cautioned us not take on the job of the Holy Spirit. We can HELP our spouse and speak the truth in love, but we can’t ultimately change him or her. As Kirk said, “God reserves the privilege of changing your spouse Himself.” No matter what problems we’re having in our marriage, we need to release them to God –doing as He shows us. “We want to get better in our marriage, not bitter over time.” We become bitter when we don’t work hand in hand with God.HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Kirk talked about working on our “stuff.” He said, “You get your stuff right before God. Then you can trust God to use you as a vessel to help you minister to your spouse.” On this point, Kirk talked about his own marriage, and the fact that it/he isn’t perfect. He says, “My marriage has been on the receiving end of my failure to deal with my own sin. … I need to rip it from my heart.” (That is a job we all should be working on throughout our lives and our marriages.)
He talked about showing our spouses love. There’s a lot more Kirk spoke about (we post more on our marriagemissions.com web site). But here’s a summary: “Love him more; love her more.” HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
Lastly, the singer Warren Barfield also starred in this marriage event. He was both funny and is VERY talented. He spoke about how good his marriage is today. Then he said, “We don’t have a great marriage because we’re good at pretending [which they did for a while.] Our marriage is good because we quit pretending, and began confessing the need for help. When we did that and when you do that, God can begin to do a work in your marriage that is ‘very good.’” He then asked, “What if we decide to fight as hard FOR our marriage as hard as we fight against it?” HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
We agree! ~ Cindy and Steve Wright
