Erosion of Love : How to stop it
Erosion of Love : How to stop it
Bisi Adewale
A 7-year-old boy called his father one day and said, “Daddy, I want to ask you a question, but promise me you will not be annoyed or beat me”. The father promised, but Junior was not convinced. “Daddy, don’t just promise, but swear that you will not beat me”.
“Junior,” his father responded angrily, “ask your question. I will not beat you”. But Junior insisted that his father must swear. When he discovered that Junior would not bulge, he swore because he was desperate to hear his question.
“Daddy, were you blind when you married mummy?” Junior eventually released the bombshell. The father was annoyed, but Junior reminded him that he had sworn not to beat him but answer his question. “Junior, of course you know that I was not blind when I married your mother,” he was forced to answer.
“Daddy, if you were not blind why did you marry somebody you do not love? Why did you marry mummy when you hate her? I saw you beating her yester-night and heard her crying and cursing you. Both of you thought I was sleeping. I even overheard you telling Uncle Deji that mummy is a bad woman. Daddy, why did you marry a bad woman when you said you were not blind? Whenever I want to marry, I will marry a good woman, somebody that I love,” the lad stated.
The indicted father became sober. That was the turning point in his marriage. He had to sit down and examine why he had grown to hate the woman he loved so much in those days.
Many marriages are in this same situation. They started well in their courtship days and were on top of the world at their honeymoon. But things suddenly changed, turning best friends to sworn-enemies; companions to combatants and lovers to fighters. What are the causes of these? Does it mean they did not really love each other in the first instance? Were they pretending? No! They did love each other but allowed their love to erode.
I told you in chapter two how in a couples’ seminars, I asked any man that married his wife because he hated her to stand up and nobody stood up. I then asked them why they married and they all said because they were in love. The question is: if they married, for love, why are they living in hatred? Simple, they allowed their love to evaporate.
What is erosion of love? Erosion is the process of gradual destruction or reduction of love in marriage or any relationship. Erosion of love is gradual. It starts unnoticed until it becomes a real problem.
Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success, He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 52 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster Moments.
Erosion of Love : How to stop it
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