EVERGREEN MARRIAGE
“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.”
??Psalms? ?23:2? ?KJV??
WHAT EVERGREEN MARRIAGE IS
If we say a Marriage is evergreen, it means its lively, its alive, its soothing, relaxing and pleasant, so let try to define an evergreen marriage here
Evergreen Marriage is a Marriage that is consistently full of love, joy, peace, bonding, intimacy and romance and sexual fulfillment. it is a marriage that fulfill the mind of God for marriage and also fufill the scripture.
WHAT GOD WANT MARRIAGE TO BE
[] A PLACE OF JOY
“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.”
??Ecclesiastes? ?9:9? ?KJV??
- God want your marriage to be a place of joy and excitement, not a place fightings, bickering and battles.
[] A PLACE TO FIND COMPANIONSHIP
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Genesis 2:18 KJV
— Marriage should be that of companionship, oneness, unity, comradeship and companionship that is what God created it to be.
[] A PLACE OF REST
“Then Naomi her mother in law said unto her, My daughter, shall I not seek rest for thee, that it may be well with thee
- God want your marriage to be a place of rest perpetually.
- When their is terrible stress and unrest out there, God want everyone to return home to find rest, that is why he instituted marriage.
[] A PLACE OF PEACE
“And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places;”
??Isaiah? ?32:18? ?KJV??
- Home suppose to be a place to find peace, when the whole world is in pieces home suppose to be a hiding place for peace and security.
PRACTICAL STEPS TO EVERGREEN MARRIAGE
To have have evergreen marriage there are steps to be taken,
1) GET TO NOW THE RIGHT DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE
“Therefore if I know not the meaning of the voice, I shall be unto him that speaketh a barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a barbarian unto me.”
??1 Corinthians? ?14:11? ?KJV?
To get the best in your marriage, you must know the meaning of marriage.
DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE
Marriage is an intimate and complementing Covenant union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life.
DEFINITION ANALYSIS
Let try to analyse the definition given above:
– INTIMATE: Marriage Must involve intimacy and Sex. Sex is only permitted and should only take place in marriage. This also mean marriage must not be sexless.
-COMPLEMENTING: Couples are to complement, complete, help and support each other. It should not involve rivalry, competition or fighting.
– COVENANT: Marriage is not a Contract, a Covenant sealed with Vows Publicly, witnessed by friends and Families. It should been seen like that.
– UNION: Marriage Needs unity, Closeness and oneness, its a union not a co tenancy.
– MAN AND WOMAN: Marriage should be Between an Adam and Eve, not between a Man and Man, Adam and Steve.
– TWO BECOME ONE: They are not just united, but they are one Spirit, Soul and Body.
– FOR LIFE: Till death separate, no separation, no divorce. Couples need to fight for their marriage and not give room for divorce.
If you want your marriage to be evergreen then check if your marriage is fulfilling this definition.
2) HAVE GOOD VISION FOR MARRIAGE
“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.”
??Proverbs? ?29:18? ?KJV?
- Many people went into marriage without any vision, no wonder they made mess of their family life
- Without vision, people, organisation and even marriage will perish.
WRONG ANSWER
To have regular sex
To get someone to pay my Bills
To get someone to cook for me
To get someone to wash my clothes.
To give birth to my own Children
To become a Mrs
To have someone take good care of me.
To avoid Loneliness
RIGHT REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
To build a partnership that will glorify God
To start a Family where God will be glorify
To find a companion that we will live together to fulfill purpose of God for our life
To build an unbeatable team for divine agenda for us.
To build a home where Godly Children will be raised
3) BUILD GOOD FOUNDATION FOR YOUR MARRIAGE
“And the foundation was of costly stones, even great stones, stones of ten cubits, and stones of eight cubits.”
??1 Kings? ?7:10? ?KJV??
- Evergreen marriage starts from the foundation of Marriage.
- If your marriage is not well laid, marriage may be very difficult.
HOW TO LAY FOUNDATION
? Prayer
– Divine direction
– Genuine love
– Counsel
- Build Godly Character
– Pure and Purposeful Courtship
- Prepare adequately for Marriage
– Prepare for Marriage, not just wedding
– Attend premarital training
– Read at least 15 books on Marriage
– Read at least 5 books on Parenting
– Glorious wedding
- BUILDINGS IN MARRIAGE
“For the builders, every one had his sword girded by his side, and so builded. And he that sounded the trumpet was by me.”
??Nehemiah? ?4:18? ?KJV??
For success in Marriage and to make your marriage evergreen, there are three things that must be built.
A. WALLS: Build a wall around your marriage by doing the following:
Remove all EXs
Remove all friends that do not like your spouse
Remove all Friends that can destroy your marriage with his or her attitude.
Do away with Friends that hates institution of marriage, opposite sex or Family life.
Do away with people that hates their spouses, talks ills of their spouses every time, lest they make you to hate your spouse.
B. BOUNDARIES
There are some people you can not build walls to shield away, but you need to build a Boundary and not hand over your marriage into their hands, they are:
– Build boundary between you and your Family Members. Put your marriage partner first and dont hand him or her over to them. Don t report your spouse to them and never depend on them for sustenance .
– Strike a balance between your work and your Family.
– Build good boundary between your marriage and your Friends. Your friends must never be allowed to
Dictate what happens in your house to you and your spouse
– Don’t discus intimate things about your marriage with anybody except a Counsellor if need arises.
C. BRIDGES: Build and repair Bridges that will sustain your home and family as you grow in life. Here i will explain in details what bridge building entails:
BRIDGE BUILDING IN MARRIAGE
Every Marriage will face the Danger of drifting, that is why bridges must be consciously built and repaired daily. The aim is to connect and reconnect to your spouse daily. Bridge should be built in the following ways:
[] BUILD PROXIMITY: Location matters
– A marriage that will succeed is based on a proximity according to the word of God:
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be ALONE; I will make him an help meet for him.”
??Genesis? ?2:18? ?KJV??
Marriage involves proximity, husband and wife should never be alone.
They should be in the Same Country, same city, Same House, Same Bedroom (without Television), Same Bed, Under the same duvet(cover cloth)
It is not a marriage when you are never together, your reason for it not withstanding.
[] BUILD BONDING: proximity is not enough for – A great marriage, we have some worst enemies living together in the same house even sleeping together on the same bed.
– Your Marriage must go beyond Proximity to the level of bonding.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
??Genesis? ?2:24-25? ?KJV??
– This involve Connecting and hysical Touch in a way that generate fondness and leads to Closeness and oneness.
Culled from the book below
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