RELATIONAL FOUNDATION NECESSARY TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE SUCCESSFUL
By Bisi Adewale
Marriage is a relationship and we must continue to bear this in mind. There are things that must be put in place to lay a solid relational foundation for marriage.
Some couples lay physical and spiritual foundation for their marriage but fail woefully when it comes to relational foundation. This is the major reason many couples are not companions; they are not friends not to talk of lovers. This should not happen in your own marriage that is why you must lay a relational foundation for your marriage in the following ways:
- Resolve to Build Friendliness in your Marriage
Before you sign the dotted lines, you must be friends. This may not be difficult before wedding but after the wedding, it is another ball games. Unless you resolve to be friends and go all out for it, you may never be friends and may even end up becoming sworn-enemies. That is why you must discuss about it, and make plans about friendship in your marriage. Do you know that more than 85% of couples around today are not friends; some are like co-tenants, combatants, competitors, housemates, or even sworn-enemies. You need to consciously plan to become and remain friends. Friendship will make your marriage romantic, interesting, stronger, better and enjoyable. A wise man said, “Marriage without friendship is like a sky without sun”. I suggest you get a copy of my book: HOT AND SIZZLING MARRIAGE on “familabooks.com “for a better understanding of friendship in marriage.
- Openness. Learn to be open to your intending spouse and make sure your spouse is open to you. Never marry somebody you cannot freely discuss your past with and be very careful about marrying any man or woman that is secretive and cannot tell you his or her mind.
- Be truthful with your partner and marry only as a truthful partner. Anybody that keeps on telling lies will be too dangerous for your life and destiny.
- Resolve to do things together. Decide from your courtship days to do things in unison till you marry. Agree to stay in the same room and on the same bed, pray together, play together, plan together, eat together, and do things generally together. Agree on this now and stick to it after your wedding.
- Resolve to forgive each other quickly and on every issue. No matter how much you love each other, no matter how much you care for each other, you will still continue to offend each other in marriage. hence, agree to forgive each other in marriage, go all out for it, talk and pray about it before your wedding. Study the scriptures together on forgiveness; agree that none of you is perfect. Hence, both should expect to be offended and both should be ready to become generous forgivers.
- Resolve never to refer to old issues. A step ahead is to agree never to refer to an old offence…..”That was exactly what you did when…..”, “You always do so…..so……”. You have started again ooo…..”. Whenever you settle a case, never refer to it again; forward ever, backward never.
It takes discipline and training to do this but with a positive mind-set and decision, you can make it. Disputes and misunderstanding are easily handled if old issues are eliminated. Learn to deal with current issues, they are big enough to occupy you.
