8 WAYS TO REVIVE LOVE IN MARRIAGE
Bisi Adewale
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corin 13:1,7
Dave and Jane were good friends, fond of each other and almost inseparable like Siamese twins joined at the heart.
They felt they couldn’t live without each other and that their best bet was to go into a marital relationship. They got engaged and prepared for marriage. A few months later, the wedding bell rang. Walking through the aisle was a glorious experience for both of them. To crown the ecstasy of this new experience, the Honeymoon was at Bahamas.
Two weeks on the “moon of honey” soon passed after which they returned home to start a new life. Contrary to their expectations, life rapidly became a routinely exercise, a pendulum swinging between dashing to the office, attending church activities (on service days) returning home tired; drowsily loping into bed, and rising early enough to resume. When Jane became pregnant, sex was moving down on her list of priorities. It became the last thing that rings in her mind.
This muscled up a lot of tensions in the house; expressed in hurts, anger, strife, nagging, malice, each taking its turn in their home. Astonished at the U-turn in their relationship, they decided to see a counsellor, about the realities they faced. The gnawing question in their heart; “Now that our love is dead, what should we do?”
Situations in many marriages are X-rayed above. Monotony has set in, busyness and lack of knowledge to balance things have made husbands and wives become total strangers at home though they are living under the same roof, for some it is even worse-off because couples are not living together due to location or nature of their job.
8 WAYS TO REVIVE LOVE IN MARRIAGE
Couples can bring back the fire of love in marriage, below are some useful tips that couples must consider to spice up love in their marriage and make their love growing again
- Pray for a turnaround in your marriage:In many unions, love is dead or murdered, couples have gradually grown to become enemies and unfriendly in marriage. You need to take stock of what is lost and pray to God for divine intervention. Matt 17:21
You need God to stop the downward spiral of situations.
You need God to restore your love for your spouse both in your heart and attitude
You need God to deal with enemies of love and open your eyes to how you are cooperating with enemies of love
- Restore & Build friendship:Individuals in marriage must make marriage and relationship a priority. Wake up your commitment again, make effort room reconnect with your spouse, stop official relationship migrate into a love affair in your marriage
- Bring back old good memories and reinvent new strategies: Many couples have allowed situations to erase good old memories they both created at the early stages of their relationships, which when you dwell on it, could remind you how genuine and serious your spouse actually was even if he or she has changed now, you can reinvent new love strategies that can help revive your love, build intimacy and increase bonding
- Forgive Generously:Keeping records of offences and bringing them up at any slight issue will further kill the love of your spouse in your heart. You need to consciously and deliberately forgive your spouse no matter the gravity of the issue and erase the pain and hurts from your memory so that the space in your heart where the love of your spouse is occupied
- Plan a date and bonding activities:check your calendar, plan your leave, make weekends and time out memorable. Try to bring up new ideas and activities for the sake of your love, consciously create quality time to spend with your spouse to catch up in your love affair for each other
- Initiate effective communication line:Barriers and gap might have been created due to busyness, secrecy and offences, you need to initiate platforms to communicate effectively with your spouse and ensure you lovingly touch on your concerns and issues without raising your voice or turning loving atmosphere to a hostile one that can affect your love goal Ephesians 4:15
- Revive your bedroom lif:SOS 1:15-16
Bedroom life is critical to the sustainability of romance and love in marriage, if your sex life is dry and drab, it will impact your love negatively. Do you need to review the happening ls in your bedroom? is there constant denial and dissatisfaction, is there any unfaithfulness or unseriousness? Is there anything competing with your bedroom life? You both need to discuss it and agree on the way forward. You need to bring the fire back and ignite romance again. The target is for both of you to be involved, spice up things and get the best from each other
- Efforts and Positive contributions:you need to make an effort in reviving love in your marriage and contribute positively to reciprocate the effort of your spouse. Plan together with your home in terms of your finances, third party interference, family projects and progress, planning the future of the family must be joint effort Eccle 9:10
© Bisi Adewale 2020
