6 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR WIFE IN THE BIBLE WAY
By Bisi Adewale
In the book of Ephesians Chapter 5 verses 22 to 33, the bible gave us the two fundamental pillars of marriage, which are: Submission and Love
Wives are commanded to ‘’Submit’’ to their husbands while husbands are commanded to ‘’Love’’ their wives.
One thing many did not notice is that from these verses 22 to 33 the Bible only mentioned ‘’Submission’’ once while the world LOVE was mentioned 6 times, the most practical one been verse 28B
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”
This is a powerful and one of the most important counsels given to married men in the Bible. If you listen to it and obey God, 21 amazing things will happen to you when you genuinely love your wife as specified by the Bible.
(I will be releasing an article on this soon which is titled, 21 AMAZING THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU LOVE YOUR WIFE)
That the Bible mentioned Submission in that Scripture once and mentioned Love, maybe as ‘’Love’’ ‘’Loveth’’ ‘’Loved’’ 6 times is very instructive, it shows us there are 6 Major Ways to love a Wife, though most Christians always emphasized the issue of submission.
Let me be quick to say here that women are FEMALE meaning FEELING-MALE.
Male with deep feelings,
Male-dominated with feelings,
Male with very fragile feelings,
Male with fluctuating feelings.
These made women to be more caring, loving, compassionate, forgiving, motherly and peace-loving.
This also makes Women expect care, love, attention, compassion and attention. You see, God knows the greatest need of Women, so he commanded the husband to meet this need.
But the irony is when you love your wife she will make herself the slave of your Love, she is ready to submit to you, follow you, obey you, make sacrifices and serve you all the days of her life.
BABY AND TIGER
If you Love her, the BABY inside her will be feed and GROW UP, if you hit and hurt her, the TIGER inside her will be fed and GROW WILD that is why the Bible says
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” ??Ephesians? ?5:28? ?KJV??
The best way to attract and touch a feeling-based set of people like this is not by beating, hurting or fighting, it is to love them as prescribed by the scripture, but remember that loving Your Wife is to your own benefit.
TONGUE OF MEN, TONGUE OF ANGELS
‘’Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal’’
1 Corinthians 13:1 KJV.
The Bible states that you may speak the
TONGUE OF MEN:
be a good speaker or an orator
Have lots of Money
Popular or well connected
Or
TONGUE OF ANGELS
Be able to do might things
Perform great Miracles which only Angels can do
LOVE IS BIGGER
But if you lack love you are nothing
The Tongue of Men or Tongue of Angels does not touch or reach the heart of a Wife, it is the only Tongue of Love that can melt her heart and bring out the WIFE in her and not the KNIFE.
8 DESPERATE NEEDS OF YOUR WIFE
In one of my Books titled 8 desperate needs of your Wife, I exposed all the eight things an average Woman is looking for in Marriage, meeting these needs are very important but meeting her needs for AFFECTION is only second to meeting her needs for PROTECTION all other Six can then follow.
You can’t over love your wife, you can’t delegate loving her, your children can not replace you in his life, though many wives do try to put their attention on their children when their husbands turn to monsters at home, but no woman truly find that succour they want in their children, because Children will soon get married and cleave to their own spouses.
This explains why some women do fight for their married sons’ love, support and attention by fighting their daughters-in-law.
I want to open your eyes to how you can love your wife completely in the Biblical way.
1: LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVE THE CHURCH
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” Ephesians? ?5:25? ?KJV??
Husbands are commanded to love their wives ‘’As Christ loved the Church’’
This is a big one and a game-changer in the teaching of love. Christ love for us is not an emotion, the make-believe or fun-seeking love.
This is genuine, practical, self-giving, service-driven and sacrificial love. It is not a poem writing, horse riding or pleasure-seeking love, it is beyond fair whether Love and Lovers. It is loving the unlovable.
It involves Loving even if love is not returned or reciprocated
Loving even when there is no sign of anything to get in return.
Jesus kind of Love is Agape, uncommon, unmatchable but that is the kind of Love the Bible commanded us to have for our wives. That is a big one but that is what the Lord wants.
HOW CHRIST LOVE THE CHURCH
He gave himself
He loved unconditionally
He cared for the Church
He loves the Church sacrificially
He is totally committed to the Church
He is praying for the Church
He loves the Church as his own body
He loved when the Church did not even love Him
He remains with God praying for the Church.
HOW TO LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVE THE CHURCH
1.Make her your number one, your focus in life
Be ready to protect her any time, any day.
Pray for her daily
Pray with her daily
Care for her
Seek her welfare
Provide for her
Stand by her
Labour for her
Labour with her
Be totally committed to her
Be sacrificial and service driven
2: LOVE HER AS SHE WILL WANT TO BE LOVED
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” ??Ephesians? ?5:28? ?KJV??
Most of the time we show love to people the way we want people to love us, if you want people to give you a card as a way to show their love, you are likely going to buy cards for people to show them your love.
But love may not be appreciated if the love you show is not in the language of the person receiving the love, it is like praising an English man in French.
So you must learn to speak the Love Language of your Darling Wife if you truly want to get to her heart and win her love.
In his groundbreaking book titled 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman exposed 5 Love Languages of every individual on earth, to connect them you must speak their Languages. Your wife like any other woman will only be connected to you if you can speak her Language.
5 LOVE LANGUAGES
Let’s check the 5 Love Languages here:
i. WORDS AFFIRMATION: Showing love through language and affirmation. This doesn’t just mean compliments. I love yous.
It involves, I’m thinking about you. Hope you’re having an amazing day!!! Can’t wait to see you later. You mean so much to me.
If this is your Wife’s Love language, hurtful words and abusive words will cut deeper into her than people who don’t speak this language.
ii. ACTS OF SERVICE: This involves expressing love by doing something for someone. Filling her car with petrol without her knowing. Cleaning the house. Doing the dishes, Cooking for her etc.
If act of service is not your love language but you’re with a wife who speaks this language, she is going to feel unappreciated and unloved unless you start to serve and care for her.
iii. RECEIVING GIFTS: Showing love through things. This doesn’t mean she is materialistic. It can be little things. Flowers. A new dress, Perfume, Fruits, Bags, snacks, Shoes. Gifts are expression of love to someone that speaks this Language. If your wife speaks this language but you don’t, she may think you don’t love her because you rarely give her gifts.
iv. QUALITY TIME: Showing love to your wife by giving her your full attention, not just making an effort to spend time. This sounds obvious but this may seem difficult to achieve especially in the world we live in today, we don’t give people our full and undivided attention. We’re busy looking at our phones, thinking about tomorrow, watching television, chatting with people miles away but disconnecting from your wife who is in your room.
v. PHYSICAL TOUCH: This means showing love to someone by physically touching them. If your wife loves to touch you or love being touched that means she is tactile. That is to say, she loves to be touched, hugged, cuddle, massage, etc.
Learning your wife’s and your primary love language and communicating this to her will help create a stronger bond in your relationship.
Note that you need to speak all the Love Languages above to your Wife, but there is this primary love language of your Dear wife that will touch her heart and make her feel the love of valued
3: LOVE HER TOTALLY AND PRACTICALLY
“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians? ?3:19? ?KJV?
To love a wife practically and involves so many things. It means not just saying the love but showing it to the one you claimed to love. It means getting involved totally in the life of the person we love and cherish.?
Loving your wife practically involves the following:
PROTECTION
Protect her from your Family
Protect her from your Children
Protect her from your Neighbors
Protect her from low self-esteem
Protect her from negative emotion
Protect her from ill Health
Protect her from untimely Death
ATTENTION
Be on her side always to assure and encourage her
Be totally loyal to her
Be totally faithful to her
Be proud of her
Motivate her
Support her career
Defend her always
PROVISION
Provide for her needs
Provide for her children
Get her unsolicited gifts
COMMUNICATION
Communicate with her effectively
Talk to her gently and lovingly
Be totally open to her
Tell her the truth and nothing but the truth
4: LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYBODY AND ANYTHING ON EARTH
God should be number one in your life while your wife should be number two. So love her more than anybody or anything under the Sun.
LOVE HER MORE THAN THE FOLLOWING:
More than your Job or Career
More than your Siblings
More than your Ministry
More than your Mother
More than your Children
More than Money
5: LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY
“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.” Ecclesiastes? ?9:9? ?KJV??
Unconditional love simply means, loving someone without waiting for the person to deserve it or waiting for what the person can do or bring to the table.
HOW NOT TO LOVE YOUR WIFE
Not just when she can cook well
Not just when she gives a tantalizing sex
Not just when she is young and beautiful
Not just when her breasts are still standing and pointing
HOW TO LOVE HER UNCONDITIONALLY
Love her when she messes up
Love her when her Jollof rice taste like pop-corn
Love her when she does not look nice at all
Love her when she says ‘’not tonight darling’’
Love her when she irritates you.
6: LOVE HER TOTALLY
“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
1 Peter? ?3:7? ?KJV??
You’ve got to love your wife totally. Total love is what marriage and relationship experts call TRIANGULAR LOVE. Your love for her becomes total when you love her in H.A.M. Love her with your HEART, ACT AND MOUTH.
— HEART LOVE
Think positively about her always
Think you never miss married.
Think she is the most beautiful full woman alive
Think she is just the best
— ACT LOVE
You can’t love your wife in your heart alone. I’ve seen lots of men that told me that they love their wives and their Wives never knew they do. The truth is if she does not know you love her that means you do not love her at all. The Gym of Love is the HEART, the stadium and the podium of Love is the ACT. You practice love in the Heart but you demonstrate it with your act.
You need to learn the Act of Love and perform the Act of loving to be seeing as a lover by your wife. Go all out to show her love.
WHAT TO DO
Attend to her
Meet her needs
Listen to her
Talk to her
Play with her
Forgive her
Step into the kitchen to cook
Carry the Baby
Fight for her
Clean the House
Do the dishes
Send a love text message
Romance her
— MOUTH LOVE
The easiest way to Love a woman is through the mouth but many men are failing their wives in this regard, they are not just expressing their love to their wives.
WHAT TO DO
Tell her I love you
Appreciate her
Appreciate her for her support
Appreciate her for Cooking the Food
Appreciate her for taking care of your Children
Appreciate her for good sexual performances
Praise her good look
Praise her good cooking
Praise her good deed
Praise her Motherhood
Praise her Wifehood.
Praise her thoughtfulness
(Please share to reach all Men)
?? ? Bisiadewale
IG @bisiadewale
Contact me: askbisiadewale@gmail.com
