20 DANGERS MONEY CAN CAUSE IN YOUR MARRIAGE
There are many things that will reveal themselves to you as danger signals in your marriage when you are not managing money rightly. If you ignore them and continue to live the way you are living, spending the way you are spending, you may end up making a shipwreck of your family finance. Many people ignored these signals years back and they are regretting it today.
Some of these signals are:
1. Secrecy. There is something fundamentally wrong with your marriage if you begin to hide your pay packet or how much you have from your spouse. These will later hurt your life and marriage deeply. No matter how you try to explain it away, financial secrecy in marriage is a danger signal.
What to do: Be open to your spouse “And they were both naked, the man and his wife and were not ashamed”. Genesis 2:25
2. Lies. When you begin to tell lies to your spouse about your finances, it shows a deep-seated problem in your marriage and your finances. This will come back to haunt you when your dear spouse discovers you’ve been lying. It will destroy trust and make you look foolish before your beloved.
What to do: Say the truth always, be honest with your mate. Nobody is perfect enough to be a perfect liar, one day the truth will be known and you will be labelled as not trustworthy.
3. Solo Spirit. It is a huge danger signal when couples decide to go their separate ways as far as money is concerned. This is similar to financial divorce as they plan and spend their money alone. They are married but live as singles once it has anything to do with money. If couples cannot spend money together, the resultant decay will eat into other aspects of their lives.
What to do: Work in unity, have things in common, marry your income, be interdependent.
4. Constant Borrowing. Living your day to day life on borrowed money has the propensity to consume you as you wallow in a huge amount of debt.
What to do: Avoid borrowing like a plague. Flee from buy-now-and-pay-later syndrome; it is dangerous.
5. Using Debt to Pay Debt. When debt matters escalate, a situation where you begin to borrow to pay your debt emerges. This is a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul and it will not solve your problem. Instead, it will lead you deeper into the mire of debt.
What to do: Plan how to pay your debt. Avoid borrowing to pay another debt, it is a foolish system, avoid it.
6. No Tithing. Withholding your tithe based on how small you think you are earning is a danger signal. As soon as you begin to flout the order of the Lord, so you can “meet” your own needs, you are treading a dangerous path. (Malachi 3:8-12).
What to do: Pay your tithe, no matter how small your income is. This will command God’s blessing on you and break the yoke of devourer on your finance.
7. No constant income. Lack of income is a huge sign that all is not well with your family finance. No matter how small the income of a family is, it must be consistent; on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. When a family is not sure when the next money will come in, that is a sign of financial crisis.
What to do: Get involved in a business that brings consistent income. Money is never enough, no matter how much if nothing is being added to it.
8. Constant fights over Money. When a couple is fond of fighting about money, it is a sign of an unhealthy financial life. This shows a lack of trust, selfishness, stinginess, ignorance, solo spirit and lack of openness. Many marriages have been destroyed because of bad money management. Learn how to agree on financial issues, because if you can’t agree on money matters, you will find it difficult to agree on other issues.
What to do: Open the communication channels. Talk about money to move forward together. Don’t bite each other because of money. What God has joined together let no money put asunder.
9. Lack of Communication. When you discover that you and your spouse hardly talk on issues of money, that is a danger signal in your finances. You need to talk regularly and effectively about money at home if you must live a transparent life.
What to do: Don’t make your financial discussion accidental. Talk deliberately, deeply and truthfully.
10. Bottled Anger. Bottling up resentment towards your spouse due to his or her attitude to spending money can only make matters worse. This feeling can crop up if you feel your spouse is stingy or tightfisted, is not doing enough for you and your family members, is not truthful or is hiding something. These kinds of feelings can destroy any marriage no matter how good it is.
What to do: Don’t bottle up your feelings; it is not good for you, your health, your marriage, your finances and your tomorrow.
11. You have deep fears about your finances. Fears about the present state of your finances should not be left unattended to.
What to do: Address your fear; find its root and deal with it. Discuss heart to heart with your spouse about your fears and together find the right solution.
12. Planless Spending. You always spend money as it comes. You do not have a budget or a plan. You cannot pinpoint where your money is going. Some will even accuse “the devourer “of being responsible for their misfortunes.
What to do: Trail your expenses. Know your income, then begin to plan how to spend your money, what to buy and what not to buy. Stop living on impulse.
13. You rely heavily on credit cards. You easily incur debt by the careless use of credit cards because you find it difficult to discipline yourself. It appears the card has taken over your life and future; you look helpless but you are still buying.
What to do: Do away with the card before it destroys you. It is just a card, it should not be in charge of your life; deal with it.
14. Income is equal to expenses. You barely make it to another payday, as you eagerly anticipate your next payday as if it is the day of your deliverance; your hope is based on that day.
What to do: Analyze your expenses and cut costs. It may involve a change of attitude, a change of lifestyle, a change of association, more discipline, self-control, handling your credit cards more maturely or doing away with it altogether.
15. Irresponsibility. When you see the man at home failing to take financial leadership, fails to work or provide for his family then something is wrong.
What to do: Every man should know that it is God’s commandment to provide for his immediate family. God is not happy when husbands fail in their responsibilities as the head of the home.
16. Workaholism. Some people are fond of overworking themselves to secure their family finance. Some keep two or three jobs, work late nights and wake up early, while some others include weekends as workdays just to make ends meet.
What to do: Working yourself to death cannot help you. Don’t just work hard, work smart. Have time to rest, don’t destroy your health because of your search for wealth.
17. Stinginess. You find it difficult to give to your family. If your wife, husband or children describe you with the word STINGY in your absence, then something is wrong.
What to do: Please note that it is wrong to be stingy at home. It is pardonable if friends and relatives say you are stingy, but it is unthinkable for your immediate family to attest to that fact. Give to your family generously; it is not a choice, it is mandatory to avoid the wrath of God. (1 Timothy 5:8)
18. You abandon your home for better pay. No matter your explanation for it, it is wrong to abandon your home to stay in another town, city, or country far away from your spouse and children in the name of greener pastures or better pay. It will affect your family negatively and you are likely going to regret it in old age.
What to do: Except for those who are in the military or para-military services who do not have control over where to live, everybody should try as much as possible to be with their families. Don’t abandon your family to pursue money. It is very dangerous.
19. You can do anything to make money. You don’t care what happens to anybody, you are simply concerned about making money. It may cost somebody his or her joy or blood, but you don’t care. As much as it leads to money, you are happy. When you make money with total disregard to the law of God and rights of others, then you are preparing yourself for a big downfall.
What to do: Don’t ever be greedy; let the fear of God direct you always. Don’t make money by force, make it by wisdom. You don’t have to step on people’s toes to make it in life.
20. You abandon God to make money. You abandon God and His laws in your quest to make money and “hit it big”. You hardly go to church; even if you are there, your mind is at work. You join occultic groups to get connections. You do all manner of things just to make money. This is very dangerous and it will only yield a sorrowful result in future.
What to do: Put God first in everything you do. The blessings of the Lord make one rich, and He adds no sorrow with it. Proverbs 10:22
