7 PRINCIPAL KILLERS OF MARRIAGE
By Bisi Adewale
Catch us the foxes the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes (SOS 2:15)
We need to identify some of the major “marriage killers” that are most responsible for the high divorce rate that plagues today’s families;
- FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE THE BUILDER
Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. (Psalms 127:1-5 KJV)
— God is the Initiator and Founder of marriage.
— You can’t make the most of your marriage without His grace and involvement.
- IGNORANCE
Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength. For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in a multitude of counsellors, there is safety. (Proverbs 24:3-6 KJV)
- WRONG FOUNDATION
If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3 KJV)
If the foundation of your marriage is built on these below then it’s a wrong foundation.
Money
Wealth
Beauty
Sin
Selection
Election
Infatuation
- BAD CHARACTER
It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman (Proverbs 21:19 KJV)
Bad and offensive characters like pride, laziness, stubbornness, dirtiness, anger, nagging, prayerlessness, criticism, infidelity, smoking, hatred and so on can destroy any marriage, no matter how wonderful it is. You must deal with all bad character before they deal with your marriage.
- SELF
— Self is a great destroyer of a good marriage.
— It strengthens selfishness and it is rooted in pride and ignorance.
— Self develops solo syndrome – I, ME, MINE AND MYSELF.
- INFIDELITY AND ADULTERY
This is a set of evil twins; it is responsible for the destruction of many homes today. They have brought tears, sorrow, regret, worry, guilt, sickness, heartache and death to many spouses. To overcome them:
– Be contented with your spouse
– Communicate and settle your misunderstanding amicably
– Avoid any situation that may lead to adultery
– Accept your spouse the way he/she is
– What you are looking for outside is loaded in your spouse with peace and security
– Seek godly and professional counsel (Proverbs 6:31-35)
7. UNFORGIVING SPIRIT
Offence must come. To some extent we offend and displease each other as we relate together. So when this occurs, we must learn to forgive. Lack of forgiveness is a killer of marriage (Ephesian 4:31-32)
Constant criticism and condemnation
Constant nagging, criticism, blaming, a verbal attack can easily destroy any marriage, no matter how strong it is. Couples should avoid criticizing one another. Don’t say it is a constructive criticism; there is nothing constructive in criticism. You correct in love but never blame, nag or criticize.
All these mentioned above will not only fight your marriage they can grow worst to assassinate your marriage, but the reason being is also that before it kills your marriage it might have been fighting your marriage showing some signal which you could have probably ignored. Now that you know the killers of marriage it is wise enough for you to take measures and fight for your marriage and not against it.
God bless you
© Bisi Adewale 2020
