Marriage

THE BEAUTY OF ADJUSTMENT IN MARRIAGE

September 25, 2016

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By Bisi Adewale

Before marriage, couples in love normally have the idea that they are “compatible” hence, there will be no problem after marriage. Modern day teachers of compatibility even make things difficult for couples, as they go into marriage with the mindset of being joined like the ball and socket.

After the wedding, they will discover that they are different. Hence, they need to adjust to meet the needs of each other. It is either they adjust and grow closer or resent each other and grow apart.

WHAT IS ADJUSTMENT? Adjustment means to make small changes to something especially to its position, in order to improve or make it more effective. It means to gradually get used to a new situation by making changes to the way you do things.

Adjustment also means a change that someone makes to the way he behaves or thinks.

Hence, adjustment means:

Change of behavior and thought patterns
To get used to a new situation
To make small changes

Why adjustment?

A newlywed couple must know that they are quite different from each other. Hence, to have a good home; they must learn to shift ground. They must not remain the same person they were, when they were getting married because they are totally different from each other in the following ways:

Gender Difference. Two people of different sexes must know that they are totally different from each other in every sense. The way they think, talk, walk, dress up, bathe, reason, act, react, pray, etc is different from one other just because they are of different sexes.

For you to expect your wife to dress up quickly as you do is for you to tell God to make her a man. Please, know that your wife is still a woman and your husband is forever a man.

Personality Differences. Two people may look alike but they are by far different from each other genetically. The following things make people to be different from each other.

Their genetic make-up
Association
Family background
Knowledge
Past life
Experience
Parents
Environment
Religion
Denomination
Education
Social status
Culture
Customer
Food

All these combine together to make individuals different from each other, We must appreciate these and accept our partner and be ready to adjust to meet their needs.

Temperament Differences. Temperament is the unseen force underlying human action; it is the combination of inborn traits or inherited genes that subconsciously affect a person’s behavior either positively or negatively. To make the most of our marriage, we must understand our personal traits and that of your partner. If they are carefully harnessed, you will discover that they complement each other instead of contradicts. For you to expect your spouse to think, plan, act and react exactly like you is a danger in the making.

There are four major temperaments, they are: