13 THINGS TO MANAGE WELL IF YOUR MARRIAGE MUST GET BETTER

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13 THINGS TO MANAGE WELL IF YOUR MARRIAGE MUST GET BETTER

By Bisi Adewale    

Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds”.

                                                                        Proverbs 27:23

Family life is all about management. If you must succeed at home, then you must be a manager. You must be able to manage so many things at the same time.

Management failure, most of the time is the real failure at home. If you can’t manage your home, you will damage it. Good management at home is the real secret behind a stable, blissful, joyful and successful home.

At home, there are many things to manage if we must have the home we dream of, they are:

  1. Spiritual Life Management. Many couples think they can succeed in marriage, even if they neglect their spiritual life, this is totally wrong. Your spiritual life is the foundation of a successful family life. If you neglect God, He will not be found in your home, and if He is not in your home, peace and joy will be far away from the place.  Psalm 127:1-2

How to manage your spiritual life:

  1. Be a man of constant, consistent and ceaseless prayer life. Your prayer life is very important to your success at home.
  2. Be a Bible student, a Bible doer. Be a student of the word of God and a doer of the word of God. Any home where the Bible is the standard is always stable, so don’t joke about it. Go back to the Bible, read it, study it, memorize it, meditate upon it and ultimately do it.
  3. Read Christian books.
  4. Attend churches/fellowships regularly.
  5. Fast often.
  6. Listen to teachings tapes
  7. Have a solid family altar.
  8. Mouth Management. Discipline your mouth; manage your mouth. Be in total control of your mouth. Talk to build your spouse and your marriage. Never talk to destroy. Talk to your spouse, don’t talk at your spouse. Don’t criticize, condemn. Never curse or use abusive words. Never use cutting remarks or speak to put down your spouse. Rather, speak to build each other, to inspire each other, motivate and encourage each other. Colossians 4:6
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  1. Thought Management. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life”. 4:23. Think positively about your spouse, marriage, your home, your children, your in-laws, etc. Stop thinking evil about each other. The way you think is the way you will act and react to your spouse. Think positively, think love, think joy, think good marriage. Your mind is the engine room of your home, think rightly.
  1. In-law Management. Wise management of in-laws is needed if peace must be in your home. In-laws can be terrible if they are not wisely handled, but they can be extremely good if they are handled with the wisdom of God. You need to take time to learn how to manage in-laws to get the best out of them. I advise you to get a copy of our book titles: WIVES VERSUS MOTHER-IN-LAW, WHEN WILL THE BATTLE CEASE?
  1. Conflict Management. There may be offences between partners and lovers, but if you have wisdom to manage your differences, you will be able to aptly handle your marriage and glorify the name of the Lord. Conflict is not really the issue but how we handle it. If it is handled foolishly, it will lead to great crisis, but when handled wisely, it will lead to more understanding of each other and intimacy. Proverbs 25:9
  1. Character Management. Another important thing that must be well managed is our character. Good and positive character will help family life, unlike bad and unwholesome characters that will destroy it. You must deal with the following characters- pride, anger, laziness, malice, wrath, dirtiness, prayerlessness, nagging, strife, lying, etc. and build good characters like humility, love, diligence, honesty, patience, meekness, cleanliness. Without good characters, good marriage will be a mirage; manage your character. Proverbs 25:28
  1. Children Management. Parenting is very important and couples must cooperate to raise their children together. They need to work together in love to raise good and godly children. Couples must train themselves not to have a favourite among their children. They must stand as one to love their children equally. They must also rise up to teach and train their children in the way of the Lord, to command them to serve God, to love them, provide for them, spend time with them, correct and discipline them. Proverbs 22:6
  1. Health Management. You also need to manage your health positively. Bad health is known to affect marriage negatively. Please be conscious of the fact that you need your health to stay and enjoy your marriage. Don’t leave your health unattended to, don’t wait until you are sick before you begin to run helter skelter. Don’t wait for healing, go for health. Eat a balance diet, exercise your body, take time to rest daily (at night), weekly (at weekend), and yearly (during your yearly vacation. Avoid alcohol, cigarette and don’t abuse drug. Do everything to promote your health.
  1. Money management. Money has been the source of many family turbulence. A lot of couples fight about money instead of managing it. You need to learn how to manage money without allowing it to destroy your home. Take your time to learn the art of making, saving, investing, spending, giving and maximizing money. Learn how to communicate positively about money with your spouse instead of fighting about it (for more, please get my two books: Money Management in Marriage and Maximizing Money in Marriage). Proverbs 22:3
  1. Success Management. One of the things that is always difficult for our people to manage is success. Lots of couples stick together in trouble but fall apart when success comes. Please don’t allow success to get to you to the detriment of your home. Grow together when you are promoted. Celebrate your success together and give glory to God. Don’t ever allow prosperity to destroy your relationship.
  1. Time Management. A lot of people are bad time managers who do not know how to balance their homes and careers. They live a lopsided life; allowing the devil to penetrate their Garden of Eden as he did to Eve when Adam was absent. Manage your time well that you will be able to create time to be at home to give attention to your spouse and children. You cannot build a good family when you are never at home. Proverbs 25:27.
  1. Intimacy Management. Don’t just create time to be at home to give attention to your family; be at home to give affection. Deliberately build intimacy, bond with your spouse, connect with each other, fall in love afresh. Intimacy does not come by accident, it come by creating time to be friends and to enter each other’s world, it comes by playing together, laughing together, serving each other and living in each other’s territory; becoming lovers. Don’t permit I-pad, laptops, television, Blackberry, I-Phone to take over your home and destroy intimacy at home. Proverbs 27:17
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Learn when to abandon technological and cyber world and enter your matrimonial and intimacy world. Allow your spouse to enjoy you and celebrate your existence.

  1. Bedroom Management. God only permits sex to take place within the four walls of marriage. Couples must not permit it to become a tool of warfare in their marriage. It is a tool of welfare; given by God as a gift to married couples. Manage your bedroom so well that you will get fulfillment out of your bedroom life, enjoying each other. SOS 4:16

 

© Bisi Adewale 2020