14 THINGS YOU MUST NEVER DO DURING COURTSHIP

14 THINGS YOU MUST NEVER DO DURING COURTSHIP

Bisi Adewale

Courtship is the period from the day a Christian brother and a sister agree to marry each other to their wedding day.

I always say it is the period between “yes I will do” and “yes I do”. This is the period from the day a sister agrees to marry a brother to the day she truly offers her hand in marriage to him before the whole world.

This implies that a man’s proposal to a sister does not mean that they are in courtship until the lady consents. Courtship is similar to the Jewish custom of betrothal or espousal.

THE DON’TS OF COURTSHIP

1. Don’t neglect God in your courtship. Avoid whatever you cannot do in Jesus name. Don’t do whatever you cannot do in the presence of brethren behind closed doors.

2. Don’t pretend in courtship; be yourself. Let your partner know the real you. Pretending is dangerous.

3. Don’t double date. As a Christian, you cannot be involved in two relationships at a time. ‘Extra tyre’ syndrome is not permitted among the children of God.

4. Avoid secret courtship. Your pastor should give his consent before you start courting. Also, your friends, family members and relations should be in the know. Both parents must bless the courtship. If you are not matured enough to go into an open courtship, don’t go into it. Courtship should not be a secret affair.

5. Don’t wear the same attire as an unmarried couple; it is wrong to do so.

6. Sisters should not turn themselves to cooks or launderers. You are not expected to go and cook for the brother or help him to wash his clothes. If you visit him, let him treat you as a guest (that is what you are). If he visits you, you can entertain him but never go to his house to cook for him. Also, avoid taking food to his house because you are not married to him yet.

7. Never cohabitate. It is wrong to be living together before the wedding day. It annoys God for it is unholy. If you must live together, then get married.

8. Don’t be untruthful in courtship. Never tell your partner lies. Don’t say you are what you are not. Be truthful and faithful.

9. Don’t court without a focus. Let your courtship be focused. Determine when you are likely to get married from the beginning; otherwise, it may lead you into trouble of fornication.

10. Don’t have sex in courtship. “Marriage is honourable among all and bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers, God will judge”. Hebrews 13:4. Sex is not for those in courtship. It is the conjugal right of married couples. Sex before wedding is known as fornication which comes with dire consequences. It separates you from God, exposes one to unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, hurried marriage, wrong marriage, abortion, single parenthood and destruction of one’s destiny, among others. Never have sex in courtship; even if your wedding day is just a few hours away. Wait and obey God. SEX IN COURTSHIP IS A SIN. Do not endanger your life.

11. Don’t start pecking, kissing, fondling, hugging, etc. in courtship. It is for the married.

12. Don’t start what you cannot finish. Do not allow emotions to override reasoning. Be wise.

13. The courtship period is not for joint accounts or joint projects.

14. The courtship period is not a period of INTERCOURSE; it is a period of INTERVIEW (communication). Be open to each other in courtship. Open your mouth for each other, not your skirt or trouser.

Those that know what to do are the masters.

© Bisi Adewale