12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR
By Bisi Oludare
It is no longer news that getting married to a Pastor could be a worst nightmare anybody can have. Ministry can be hard on marriage and eventually the entire family. It is not to say that marrying a Pastor is signing a death sentence but that it will take more from the wife.
Listed are some of the problems faced by Pastor’s wife:
1 Attention From Other Women: due to the position the Pastor is occupying, he tends to get attention from other women both Church members and even outsiders. They usually hover around him and if this is not handled with utmost caution, it could go wrong
2 Fasting: this is one basic truth which tends to be a serious challenge to women after marrying a Pastor. You will have to fast endlessly to keep the ministry going, protect your husband and the children. You even need serious prayer and fasting to be able to manage the demands of the church members who now see you as their female Shepherd
3 Church Politics: this is now very rampant in churches and sure you will at one stage or the other be faced with it. Not all the members under you are genuinely born again, so, some will try to cause unnecessary problem in the church. 12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR 12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR 12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR
4 Transfer: another thing that could pose a challenge to the peace of a woman is the yearly transfer. Since it is not good for you to just leave your husband to go while you stay, this can if care is not taken threaten the peace in your home. It prevents you as the woman to have a stable business since you will have to keep relocating
5 Must Always Be Perfect: there is a lot of unrealistic expectation from members and they believe you must be perfect. They believe you must accept anything thrown at you without getting angry. 12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR 12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR 12 PROBLEMS OF MARRYING A PASTOR
6. Expected To Attend All Church Activities: even if you hold service every day, they still want you around for all the programmes and you must as well be there on time. They don’t want to know if it is not convenient for you
7. Financial Problem: some churches are just growing and so cannot afford to pay Pastors well, even some of the big ones still don’t pay well; so you have to manage the little resources available. There are situations where you will have to sacrifice the little you have for a member without complaining
8. Problem With Women In The Church: women will always complain about this or that about you
9. Loneliness: this is what you must expect as a Pastor’s wife because most of the time; members are looking at you from afar and they feel you are okay so nobody is ready to move closer let alone being a friend. This is one challenge you have to cope with because of where they have placed you.
10. Busyness Of Pastors: due to the demands of their ministry, Pastors are very busy people who tend to forget that their first ministry is the home. This will definitely affect you and further complicate your loneliness
11. Non Romantic Husband: it is their busyness that makes them unromantic. They tend to focus more on the ministerial work neglecting the emotional needs of the wife.
12. Satanic Attack: the number one focus of the devil is to use every means possible to destroy the Pastor and if this is not achieved, he changes focus to the children. Satanic attack is real and one of the many problems of marrying a Pastor
As a woman, married or planning to marry a Pastor, this is not to scare you but to put you in the know of what is obtainable as a Pastor’s wife. Just know that you don’t have access to your private life again once you marry a Pastor. These challenges become a real big problem depending on how you manage the situation
Bisi Oludare has a passion and ministry in the area of family life. She is a graduate of the First Premier Marriage Institute – The College of Marital Success where she obtained a Postgraduate Certificate as a qualified Chartered Counselor. She is a graduate of the School of Disciples and also attended the Word of Faith Bible Institute. She is a graduate of Biochemistry from LAUTECH and also holds a Masters Degree in Pharmacology from UNILAG but called to build homes through the power in the word of God.
E-mail: abbeylily@gmail.com
Twitter: @bisioludare
Facebook: Bisi Oludare
